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As the weeks wore on, Cassia and Alec were able to tolerate each other more and more. They fell into a solid routine, running the Institute and doing field work when they could get away with it. Things with Jace even evened out; he and Cassia did their best to keep their relationship completely platonic and he and Alec fell right back into their best friendship.
Alec and Cassia had been married for two months, and both of them were almost starting to wonder what they'd been so worried about because everything seemed to be exceeding their expectations by a lot. The whole time, though, both of them couldn't help but feel like something awful was about to happen, like the other shoe needed to drop. Eventually, it did.
"The Clave is reassigning me to Idris," Alec told Cassia one morning, reading a letter he'd gotten.
"What? How the hell can we go to Idris while also running the Institute?" she asked, and he shook his head.
"No. Not us, me," he clarified, and she looked at him like he was crazy.
"Are you kidding me? They make us get married just to automatically separate us? I can't run the Institute without you," she said, feeling a bubble of panic rising in the back of her throat. Being a shadowhunter, she was usually able to keep her moderate anxiety at bay, unless she was surprised by something.
"I don't know. It doesn't say much other than they want me at a meeting tomorrow," he said, scratching his head and tossing the letter down on an end table.
"How can they do that? We're just getting used to all of this and it's been so fucking hard and we're finally making it work and we finally like each other and now they want me to run the whole thing by myself? What the hell? I can't do it!" she screeched, her voice getting more and more hysterical by the moment.
"Cass, it's okay. We'll talk to them and we'll try to change it. Just breathe," Alec said gently, worried he wouldn't be able to help her if she started to full-on panic.
"No," Cass whispered, her anxiety sneaking up on her no matter how many deep breaths she took. Alec was at her side in a moment, watching her as she tried to steady her breathing.
"Should I get Jace?" he asked, knowing that he was one of the only ones that was able to snap Cass out of an intense panic attack.
"No. I don't...don't... want Jace. I want you," she said, clutching his arm. He nodded, holding onto her as she sunk to the floor. He sat with her, watching as tears filled her eyes.
"Cassia, come on, little babe. You're alright. I'm here," he whispered, not sure what else to do. She nodded, scooting herself closer to him and burying her face in his chest. He hesitated for half a second, looking down at her before wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly.
He held her like that for a long time, just rocking her back and forth and running his fingers gently over her back. By the time she finally pulled away, he'd almost forgotten that that wasn't exactly a normal practice for them.
"Thanks," she whispered, looking up into his eyes. He nodded silently, taking his thumbs and wiping tears off of her face with them. "I don't know where that came from. I'm honestly surprised that I don't want you to leave, seeing as you're such a pain in my ass," she said, smiling up at him. The corners of his mouth turned up in a response smile and he looked at her like he wanted to say something that he then thought better of. "Talk to me, Alec," she said, raising a hand and brushing the side of his face gently. She wasn't sure when she'd gotten so comfortable touching him, but she was glad she had. Overall, his skin was soft and generally smelled like something woodsy and absolutely intoxicating.
"I... you just surprise me. I didn't think that this whole thing would actually work very well," he told her, watching her closely to gauge her reaction.
"Is it working well?" she asked him, genuinely wondering what his response was going to be.
"I'd like to think so. I don't completely hate you anymore, at least," he told her, smirking and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He'd obviously been joking, but her face fell, causing him to immediately backtrack. "Cass, I... I'm sorry. What happened?"
"No, don't be sorry. You didn't say anything wrong. I just... I'm still not totally here for the idea of a loveless marriage, you know? Not that you haven't grown on me a ton over the past few months, because you have and I'm glad for the friendship we've developed. I don't know, I just... we're never going to be in love, Alec," she said, and he shrugged immediately.
"Aren't we?" he asked, and she looked at him like he was speaking another language.
"What, you think we could be?" she asked him, shocked. Honestly, if anyone else had asked her, she probably would've said that they might end up in love some day. Like she'd said, their relationship had definitely grown and evolved quite a bit just in the few months since the wedding, and she was the kind of person that was optimistic enough to think that maybe that would eventually evolve into love. She was just surprised to hear that Alec also felt that way.
Instead of answering her, he leaned close and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her gently and in a way she wasn't sure she'd ever been kissed. His arms wrapped around her and she leaned into him, trailing a hand up the back of his shirt and tangling the other in his hair.
He pulled away a few moments later, leaving both of them breathless. He continued to hold her tightly to him, keeping their faces just inches apart. He watched as she tried to catch her breath, deep down happy that he was the one that had made her cheeks flush like they had.
"I think we could be. Maybe. Someday. If you weren't such a pain in the ass," he said, smiling widely and planting a final kiss on the very tip of her nose before untangling his arms from around her.
"Fuck you, Mister Lightwood," she said, smiling as she stood and straightened her clothes, reaching out to give him a hand up from where they'd still been sitting on the floor.
"Fuck you more, Missus Lightwood," he said, returning her smile as he threw on his jacket.
•••••
a/n: honestly this is just a filler fluff chapter because i'm having so much fun writing these two and i really wanted to have them at least kiss before anything big happens. drama and stuff will start soon.
