A Whole Bunch of Loki's

He's Not Mine

He knew that it was wrong.

Something that shouldn't have happened in the first place, but since when did he ever care about not following his own heart and mind?

It had been a while back when he last focused more on what his father said than what he wanted himself, those bonds were already broken.

Perhaps if he had been more careful, this wouldn't have happened.

He wouldn't feel so conflicted after seeing her again.

Like every typical morning, he had been summoned down to the main hall for breakfast and though he was rarely hungry in the mornings and would much rather spend the time reading, he would still attend to keep his mother happy.

As Thor and Odin were enthusiastically talking about something he wasn't paying attention to, he was sat in silence, fiddling with his cutlery and taking bites of his food every now and then.

After another of Thor's great over exaggerations, Loki rolls his eyes and finds himself drifting further away from their talk. His gaze rolling over the hall and catching a glimpse of movement just beyond the large doors at the end of the room.

His heart freezes a little when he sees her from across the hall, the servant girl carrying a large, wooden bucket and a mop with a bit of difficulty.

Loki remembered in too great of detail when he'd first seen and approached her, by this point she had been working in Asgard for just over a year.

He recalled how they'd hit it off over books and intellectual conversations he'd found hard to find beyond talking to his mother.

Then, in her third year of working there, their forbidden romance had started.

It had all started with playful flirting, but had escalated so quickly that they soon found themselves lying beside each other in bed, naked and panting after expunging so much distracting energy.

Years of built up tension was finally unleashed and they had never felt better.

The next two and a half years consisted of them meeting whenever they could, sometimes just for innocent late night talks and cuddles, more often than not more intimate acts were thrown in.

For a while it was Heaven, but what goes up would inevitably come down.

Initially Loki had been ecstatic when she had told him she was carrying his child, the way she smiled so widely and her eyes sparkled made his heart sing.

Everything had been perfect to a point, they still planned to keep their relationship hidden for the time being, waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal the truth.

Until then, they continued their secret meetings and planned the best moves for the child.

They both a knew a lie would have to be concocted as she wasn't blessed with a small bump that could have been kept hidden, in fact she suffered quite the opposite and ended up ballooning out at an alarming pace.

But she never complained, she always smiled and gushed over the little Loki she was carrying, though to others it was a servant boy that she had been seeing.

The months flew by before their eyes and in what felt like no time at all she was in labour, her water breaking during some light table polishing.

It had been hard for Loki to find a reason for visiting so soon after the birth, especially considering that the rest of the royals didn't seem to care to the point of visiting just because a servant girl was having a child and to the eyes of everyone else they barely knew each other.

He'd managed to sneak in early in the morning whilst everyone else was asleep, Loki had expected her to be asleep as well but had found her sat up in bed with their bundle cradled to her chest.

"You should be asleep," he chuckled quietly.

"I know," she whispered, her tired eyes turning down to their baby. "But I wanted to hold him."

"Him?" Loki smiled widely.

She nodded with an equally wide and happy grin.

"Can I see him?"

"Of course you can," she laughed, carefully adjusting the precious cargo in her arms.

He stepped closer to the side of the bed and watched as she pulled away the small hood from the boy's face.

Loki's once large smile began to fade, his mouth turning down as his eyes roamed over the small child. He felt his throat tighten as his breath hitched in his chest, a horrible squeezing sensation rattled through his ribcage.

He found his fists clenching on either side of him as water that he would refuse to shed brimmed in his eyes.

"Is this some kind of joke?"

Her eyes found his with a look of alarm before she furrowed her eyebrows, slowly shaking her head.

"I don't understand what you mean?"

Anger swelled in Loki's chest, negative emotions hitting him from all sides forced him to look away from the child.

"You think you can mock me, the son of Odin?" He seethed through gritted teeth, though his voice was barely above a whisper.

"I would never mock you."

"And yet here you lie, with another man's child whilst having me believe all this time that it was mine?"

The look in his eyes made her recoil and cradle the baby closer to her once more, as if she could physically shield him from the harsh words spewing from his mouth.

"Loki, I have never laid with another," she hesitantly replied with a tremble in her voice. "This child is yours."

"The child is blue and marked," he practically growled, having to step away before he ended up doing something he would deeply regret later. "You tried to play me for a fool, thinking I would raise this abomination as my own heir because two peasant workers couldn't keep their hands to themselves."

She whimpered out his name, her eyes staring at him with hurt and betrayal as tears rolled down her cheeks. He refused to look at her, knowing her expression would tear him apart further and only make things worse for both of them.

Instead he turned away, not wishing to hear anymore of her lies.

"You will return to your original duties once you are able to move freely," he orders with no emotion to his voice. "I wish to see nothing of you unless it is work related."

Loki winced a little at the memory of the door slamming behind him, he hadn't even spared her a passing glance over his shoulder as he left, knowing he couldn't face her crestfallen expression.

That was just over three years ago and it was still one of the darker points of his life.

As ordered, she kept her distance wherever possible and never strayed in the same room as Loki for more than five minutes.

And yet she always seemed to smile so widely, the love for her son evident in her eyes.

He should have known better, they were both young adults when they had hooked up, it was doomed to fail from the beginning.

His eyes focused once again towards his regret who was keeping the door held open, after a pause and her saying something Loki couldn't hear a small figure toddled into view.

A boy of barely three followed his mother into the room, as she stepped inside she patted the boy's black wavy hair and let the door shut behind them both.