Buzzfeed, Boys, Black Magic

a 1990s childhood dream

I didn't want to leave my car in the Newton Center's parking lot, but wherever we were going was such a surprise that Rafi insisted on driving. And after about 5 minutes along 309, he pulled over to the shoulder of the highway.

"What the fuck?" I watched a Charger whizz past us. "You can't just stop at the side of the high-"

Rafi leaned toward me, his honey-brown eyes transfixed on my face.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I watched his arm hover toward my lap and I was about to explain I hadn't a public-sex-die-in-a-car-crash kink when his hand darted for the glove compartment.

Before I could feel any kind of relief, he pulled out a tie-dye bandana.

"Put this on," he dropped it into in my lap and leaned back to the driver's seat.

"Are we robbing a hippy store? Are you in desperate need of incense?"

"It's a blindfold," he said.

"Look," I said, "I know that there are different strokes for different-"

"Lee," Rafi glanced in his rearview mirror. "It's not what you're thinking. Just put it on, or you'll ruin the surprise."

I watched him put the car in drive and jerk back into traffic. I don't know if I just did not want to witness his Civic pummel into the Prius in front of us, or if there was some romantic bone still left in my body. I tied the bandana over my face.

***

"One more step," Rafi's hands were warm. We were approaching a building. I didn't know what kind. All I did know was that he was very careful, and that we walked very slow.

"Okay, wait here one minute," he said, and let go of my hand. Without his touch, my vulnerability hit me like a double-decker bus.

"No, no, no," I yipped. "Where are you gonna go? You better not just up and leave me-"

"Leela," Rafi said, and his voice sounded close- maybe five feet away. "I'm still here. Everything is fine."

"I'm gonna take this stupid thing off," I reached for the bandana.

I didn't hear him object, so I let the blindfold slip.

The first thing I saw was the back of Rafi's yellow head and then a nerdier-looking dishwater blond behind him. Rafi was whispering something to him. His bespectacled eyes fell on me.

"She sees," dishwater said, and Rafi turned around.

"Jeease Lee," he shook his head, "you couldn't wait another minute?"

The evening breeze tickled my neck and I became aware of my surroundings. I stood under an overhang at the front entrance of a high school. I glanced behind me, at the LED sign in the front lawn.

EASTSIDE HIGH SCHOOL.

"This is my brother Dante," Rafi tilted his head toward dishwater. "He teaches biology here. Just came by to unlock the door."

"Cool?" I didn't yet understand.

"I have certain keys," Dante explained. "Keys to a certain planetarium."

"That is," Rafi said, "if you want to see what you missed back in Kindergarten."

"You remembered?" I asked, "I told you about the field trip only that one time-"

"It was a sad story," Rafi protruded his lower lip. "It touched me."

He was being silly, but right then, I felt something explode in my chest.

***

There was a picnic blanket on the planetarium floor and a yellowed planisphere ripped out of National Geographic Kids magazine. I knew that, because I had the same one back in '99. I stained it with wet grass and a humid June crumpled it. But an entire summer was spent with that first planisphere in my five-year-old hands, out in the meadow on South Mountain- while my mom and dad and brother lit sparklers and listened to James Taylor on cassette.

"My brother and I were big nerds," Rafi spun his planisphere, "but you already know that. I've been going through my childhood shit, you know? Throwing stuff out, figuring out what I want to take with me when I move out. Found this, this morning with some grade school garbage my mom kept."

I couldn't bring myself to tell him I once had the same one. I was overwhelmed.

"It was too funny a coincidence," Rafi cocked his head, "you know, I've been planning this field trip for a couple days now. I figured since I don't remember anything about this nonsense, this planisphere might be a useful learning aid."

"Learning aid?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "For when you tell me the stories about the constellations up there."

"You want me to tell you about the constellations?" I asked, dumb.

"That's what I said," Rafi lay back on the blanket. He patted the ground beside his hip, as if he commanded me to lie next to him. I obeyed.

"I don't know if I even remember all the mythology," I said, and scanned the dome ceiling and the stars projected onto it. I felt his nose press onto my scalp, and his arm wrap around my waist. His pelvis brushed against me. I had never been so comfortable lying on a tiled floor. "And even if I did remember, I don't know where to begin."

"How about with Leo?" he asked. "I was born in August."

***

We drank Capri-Suns and I told him about Hercules and the Nemean Lion, and how the big cat found its place in the sky. I wasn't even turned off by the pot brownie Rafi ate a piece of. He asked me if I wanted to try, and when I refused, he didn't seem disappointed. He didn't mind me staying sober while he got high.

This time, he didn't do air accordion. Or hum Ignition (Remix), or say something wildly stupid. Instead, his eyelids just drooped and he watched the stars spread across the ceiling with the wonder of a dreaming kid.

When he asked me if I'd drive his car back to my place so we could eat canned soup and fall asleep in my bed, I didn't say no. And when he- breath still skunky from his drug of choice- asked if he could kiss me, I said yes.

On the walk back to Rafi's car, I felt a little like I could fall off the face of the earth. Like I could tumble into space and somehow I'd be okay.

It was as if he held up the entire universe with a single arm.

***