Buzzfeed, Boys, Black Magic

black magic

"Wow," I said, like an android suffering an emotion-chip malfunction. "Congrats."

"You don't sound happy," Rafi said. I wasn't sure if he was hurt or confused. I reached behind my back for the handle of my car door.

"No, that's exactly how you wanted things to turn out so it's honestly very cool."

Rafi searched my eyes and I became hyper aware of the expression on my face. I think I momentarily forgot how to smile. I overcompensated and grinned. He tilted his head to left with a movement so slight it was almost imperceptible. 

"Well, I guess I should change out of this work uniform," I tugged on my polo with one hand and pulled open my car door with another.

"Ok," he pressed his hand against the car door. Softly. Not aggressively enough to shut it. "Tell me how you're feeling."

I couldn't believe how I was feeling. I'd only known him a couple of weeks.

"I'm happy," I said, to Rafi and to myself. I liked him, a lot. I might have loved him. I was definitely in love with him. I should be happy he's about to start living his dream. "You told me when we met you wanted to go to California and it's awesome everything worked out the way it was supposed to."

He didn't look convinced.

"I guess I'm just surprised everything's happening so fast. I know I shouldn't be."

It was like a light bulb flashed on above Rafi's head.

"Hey," he glanced briefly over his shoulder at the teenagers sipping Frostees on the parking curbs behind us. "Why don't we get in my car for a little, we should talk."

I was sure I knew what was going to happen as soon as he opened his mouth to speak. Nonetheless, I watched myself climb into his passenger seat.

***

"So, I want to apologize for the timing," Rafi said. "I don't know what I expected when I sat down next to you at Cody's party, but it wasn't this."

My face burned.

"Wasn't what?"

Rafi sighed.

"Wasn't you. I wasn't expecting you."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Rafi's eyebrows lifted. "I want to hang out all the time with you because I like you so, so much. I meant I wasn't expecting to meet somebody like you now, at my fuckup cousin's sausage fest."

"Okay?"

"Okay so I don't know what to do?" Rafi shrugged. "Like, is this going to be a serious relationship? Do we try for long distance? Is it too early to try for long distance?"

I swear I could feel vomit creep up my throat.

"Do you want to do long distance?" I asked back. I think Rafi could hear the hope in my voice.

"You know," he looked at the floor of his Civic and smiled. "I never thought I would. But now I'm not so sure. If it was anybody else, it'd be a no."

"I mean," I trailed off.

"Like, on one hand," Rafi said, "We just started talking, and long distance is hard. On the other hand, this is going to sound corny as fuck, but, I'm just weirdly drawn to you."

"You are?" I squeaked.

He laughed. Hard. I realized then he had turned his whole torso toward me.

"No, I just take a Good Samaritan interest in the passions and dreams and futures of random introverts I meet at parties," he said. "Of course, I'm drawn to you. Have been since I saw you sitting on Cody's porch there. I can't really explain it," he fumbled with his words, "it's like, uh"