The Tutor

Chapter 32

Nora spent the better part of Sunday looking at her phone instead of writing up the final draft of her latest English Lit coursework. Usually at this time her and Rafe would text back and forth, either about work or what they did over the weekend or having a heated debate on the latest episode of The Vikings. Some Sundays he would come over for brunch and they'd spend the whole day doing homework and watching movies together. Sometimes they'd even go into town for some freshly made fudge.

The silence was torturing Nora. She couldn't find it in her to text first, not after the way she had left things yesterday. Part of her expected Rate to write a lame excuse about how he remembered nothing last night because he was too drunk, making it easier for both of them to move on. Mostly she just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Maybe she was being paranoid. Tomorrow at school Rafe will casually approach her like nothing happened and they will continue their tutoring and put all of this behind them.

She admitted to herself that she was too much of a coward to date him. She felt confident and could be her true self as his tutor, but as a girlfriend? She'd be constantly wondering if she was good enough for him. Suppose he's there for the long run or use her as another distraction. God, she was already annoying herself with these thoughts.

* * *

The next day Nora came to school early to make some photocopies of her notes for Rafe and hung around the entrance to wait for him. She fidgeted with the zipper of her coat as the students slowly began trickling into the school, but there's been no sign of Rafe yet.

She realised she had missed him. Not getting any texts from him made her weekend a little emptier. He barged into her life and made it fun.

Finally she saw the mop of his messy dark hair as he walked with his roommate Alex. He was laughing. Good. He looked like he was in a forgiving mood at least. He noticed her, and she gave him a small awkward wave.

He acknowledged her with the tiniest of nods and went past her.

"Can we talk?" She said to his back when she realised he would walk past without saying a word. She would be the first person he usually talked to in school. The beating of her heart was hammering her ribcage. He was mad. She could feel it. He stopped and muttered something to Alex and turned to her nonchalantly.

"How was your weekend?" She asked lamely.

"What do you want Nora?" he replied. It wasn't said harshly. It was devoid of emotion. Her heart hurt a little at the tone, and she felt herself shrink under his gaze.

"I made you some copies of my notes. I thought you'd want to have a look over them before the lesson," she mumbled, handing him the stack of papers held together with a Hello Kitty paperclip and covered in a plastic wallet.

He looked into her eyes for a moment longer before taking the papers. He scoffed. "Thanks." 

Nora was about to say something before he cut her short. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a couple of fifty-pound notes. "Here. Emile left me some money. Thought I'd cover my lessons."

As he stretched out his hand with the money, Nora's eyes caught Jack sneering at her as he walked past. Her mind flashed back to the night at the club, and she got goosebumps just by seeing him. That fear of him returned, and she hated herself for being such a wimp. Hazel was the victim that night. She couldn't even do anything to help. She blinked and looked away.

"The lessons are free. I told you I wanted to help as a friend. You know that."

"No, you made it clear that you are my tutor. And your time as my tutor should be compensated. It's only fair after all the time you spent on me," he said and shoved the money into her pocket. She slumped against the doorframe, hurting at his words and actions, but there was not much she could say.

"Also," he said, looking back at her, "I think I'm pretty much ready for the exams. So no need for sessions. I'll be fine."

Nora nodded. "I'll send you notes via email if you'd like. For your revision," her voice was barely above a whisper.

He looked like he wanted to say something, to be mean, to hurt her but stopped himself. He looked her in the eyes, there was sadness in them. "Sure."

He left for his next class. She wanted to reach out and hug him and pull him close like he did when she told him about her past. She hated the way he looked and talked to her, absent of any feeling. Aloof and cold, like the first day they'd met. It took Nora a lot of willpower not to sulk.

Trying to reign in her feelings, she cheered herself up. Well, she thought, at least now she'll have more time to study, with no distractions. This way, she won't have her heart broken or get embroiled in the high school drama that usually comes with dating the most popular boy in school. She found Rafe's locker and shoved the money through the vents.

For the first time, the English lesson went by excruciatingly slowly for Nora. She watched the clock and couldn't wait to flee to the silent confines of the library. She could feel Rafe's gaze burning into the back of her skull like the time when she sent him to the broom closet.

Or maybe it was her imagination. Maybe he wasn't looking at her at all. She'd become invisible to him now, and they'd go back to the way things were in the beginning.

The idea of that sounded depressing to Nora.