Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 4 | Revisited?

* Trigger Warning*

I push away the pancake Joel put in front of me , "I'm not hungry"

He gives me a long look, before taking the pancake back, and adding it to his plate.

Standing up, I grab my keys, I was visiting Lauren and Yammy today.

The drive over was slow, and felt like it took a lifetime.

"Hey girl!" Lauren squealed.

I grin and let them hug me.

Subconsciously, I pull my shirt down.

The outfit I was wearing was simple, a blue flannel, with a slightly cropped blue jumper and the flannel sleeves rolled over, some blue skinny jeans, high boots and a chunky necklace.

But I felt like the jumper hung in all the wrong places and the jeans made my thighs look massive.

"Do you want breakfast?" Yammy asked, leading me into the kitchen.

I shake my head, "I already ate" the lie comes so easily.

"Jessie!" I squeal, seeing her sitting on the sofa.

"Hi!" Her face breaks out into a massive grin.

I sit beside her, "What are you doing here? Is Oli not keeping you busy enough?"

She wiggles her eyebrows, "Oh he's keeping me plenty busy"

I laugh, whacking her arm.

"So how are you" she asks, lowering her voice.

I know exactly what she's talking about.

"If you're asking if I've told him yet, I haven't"

"Why did you lie to Lauren and Yammy"

"What?" I reply in confusion.

"I know you haven't ate, I cant believe your still doing this to yourself!"

My eyebrows furrow together, but she isn't finished.

"Lizzie" she began, resting her leg on my thigh.

The simple gesture made me tense up, and she narrowed her eyes.

"You don't need to do this" her voice is softer, "you don't need to starve yourself, it doesn't add any purpose to your life"

I shake my head, tears threatening my every move, "you don't understand!" I begin to protest.

"Understand what?" Lauren asks, coming to sit on the opposite sofa, sandwich in hand.

My mouth dries up, and I silently beg Jessie not to say anything.

"A maths homework question" Jessie replies after a moment.

I thank her silently, and she gives me a look, a look that says she isn't done talking about it.

"I can help if you want" Lauren offers.

Jessie shakes her head, "it's fine we got it now"

"So what are the plans for today?" Yammy asks.

"I was thinking that we could watch a movie, pig out, then go for lunch?" Lauren suggests.

Jessie and Yammy nod, and I bit my lip, unsure what to do.

Jessie's eyes are zeroed in on me, and I feel nervous under her gaze.

"Lizzie?" Yammy prompts.

"Sure sounds great" I blurt out.

"Cool, so what movie?"