Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 24 | Fear?

* Trigger warning: Semi Graphic description*

My terror comes from a place far from my heart.

It nags my thoughts and doesn't allow me to feel anything else.

I should want to hug him, to cry, to tell him everything I'd been feeling, or even anger.

Anything would've been better than the pure terror that had me rooted to the spot.

It's own pounding voice drowned out any other feelings I may have had, banishing them far away so I couldn't find them.

I stare into those eyes, and I know exactly why I'm so scared.

He was dead.

I saw his body laid cold and lifeless on the floor.

I saw the bruises on his head.

I saw the marks engraved by the knife.

I saw his colour drained face.

And I saw my life fall apart in front of me.

The memory had been the curse of my nightmares every night since then, so I knew it was real.

How could he be here.

I look to Jessie, trying to take in what she's feeling to check that this isn't just a figment of my imagination.

Blood roars in my ears as I track her face, trying to steady my racing mind.

She looks equally shocked, her eyes narrowed at the figure, as if she couldn't trust him.

My eyes trace back to him, as I study him.

No this isn't my dad.

I step forwards, so we're standing face to face.

Despite looking the exact same as him, the warmth in his eyes wasn't there, the loving smile had no resemblance here.

The very things that made my Dad special, I wasn't going to find in this man.

The man shakes his head, "I'm not your dad."

I breathe out.

"My name is Carlisle Dray."

Shocked, I take a step backwards.

I'd heard that name before.

"I was an inner circle member with the Scourge."

My fear makes sense now.

I backup towards Jessie, my fists curled, now rooted to the spot.

"You needn't be worried, I'm not going to hurt you."

I hear sincerity in his voice, but don't let my guard down.

"Your dad took my place in the scourge after I was imprisoned on a drop off."

I nod slowly, the dots slowly joining up.

"Why are you here." Jessie says cautiously.

Carlisle dips his head, "Marcus got me out."

I raise my eyebrows in shock.

"I was a bad guy." He continues, "I did everything I was sentenced for, and more that they haven't traced back to me." He laughs tiredly.

"If you're trying to reassure me you're doing a terrible job."

Carlisle smiles sadly, "I'm not going to hide from my crimes. I did them, and I want to atone for those sins."