Real Crime Stories/Paranormal Hauntings

Life & Death of Kurt Cobain (Part II)

Personal Life

Relationships and Family

Courtney Love and Cobain met on January 12, 1990, in Portland's Satyricon nightclub, when they both still led ardent underground rock bands. Love made advances, but Cobain was evasive. Early in their interactions, Cobain broke off dates and ignored Love's advances because he was unsure if he wanted a relationship. Cobain noted, "I was determined to be a bachelor for a few months [...] But I knew that I liked Courtney so much right away that it was a really hard struggle to stay away from her for so many months." Love first saw Cobain perform in 1989 at a show in Portland, Oregon. They talked briefly after the show and Love developed a crush on him.

Cobain was already aware of Love through her role in the 1987 film Straight to Hell. According to True, the pair were formally introduced at an L7 and Butthole Surfers concert in Los Angeles in May 1991. In the weeks that followed, after learning from Grohl that Cobain shared mutual interests with her, Love began pursuing Cobain. In late 1991, the two were often together and bonded through drug use.

On February 24, 1992, a few days after the conclusion of Nirvana's "Pacific Rim" tour, Cobain and Love were married on Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. Love wore a satin and lace dress once owned by Frances Farmer, and Cobain donned a Guatemalan purse and wore green pajamas, because he had been "too lazy to put on tux." Eight people were in attendance at the ceremony, including Grohl.

In an interview with The Guardian, Love revealed the opposition to their marriage from various people:

"Kim Gordon [of Sonic Youth] sits me down and says, 'If you marry him your life is not going not going to happen, it will destroy your life.' But I said, 'Whatever! I love him, and I want to be with him!' ... It wasn't his fault. He wasn't trying to do that."

Love was already pregnant, and the couple's daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, was born August 2, 1992. A sonogram of the couple's as-yet-unborn baby was included in the artwork for Nirvana's single, "Lithium".

In a 1992 article in Vanity Fair, Love admitted to using heroin, not knowing that she was pregnant; however, Love claimed that Vanity Fair had misquoted her, but the event created a media controversy for the couple. While Cobain and Love's romance had always been a media attraction, they found themselves hounded by tabloid reporters after the article was published, many wanting to know if Frances was addicted to drugs at birth. The Los Angeles County Department of Children's Services took the Cobains to court, stating that the couple's drug usage made them unfit parents.

Love later claim to have ceased heroin use upon learning of her pregnancy.

Sexuality

In October 1992, when asked, "Well, are you gay?" by Monk Magazine, Cobain replied, "If I wasn't attracted to Courtney, I'd be a bisexual." In another interview, he described identifying with the gay community in The Advocate, stating, "I'm definitely gay in spirit and I probably could be bisexual" and "if I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual life-style". He also said that he "[was] definitely gay in spirit", "thought [he] was gay", and "wanted to [...] find a chicken hawk and sell [his] ass". He described himself as being "feminine" in childhood, and often wore dresses and other stereotypically feminine clothing. Some of his song lyrics, as well as phrases he would use to vandalize vehicles and a bank, included "God is gay", "Jesus is gay", "HOMOSEXUAL SEX RULES" and "Everyone is gay". Cobain openly advocated for LGBTQ+ rights, including traveling to Oregon to perform at a benefit opposing the 1992 Oregon Ballot Measure 9, and supported local bands with LGBTQ+ members. He reported having felt "different" from the age of seven, and was a frequent target of homophobic bullying in his school due to him having a "gay friend". Cobain was interviewed by two gay magazines, OUT and The Advocate, the 1993 interview with The Advocate being described as "the only [interview] the band's lead singer says he plans to do for Incesticide", an album whose liner notes included a statement decrying homophobia, racism and misogyny: