Chapter 21: Wandering, Wandering in Hopeless Night

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Michael collapsed back onto the couch, as if the Elder had leant across and punched the very air out of him

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Michael collapsed back onto the couch, as if the Elder had leant across and punched the very air out of him.

'It is a peculiar thing, is it not?' Montague said. 'To feel so very alone in this world, to feel the loss of identity so keenly, even though you are surrounded by those who seem on the surface to be the same as you and yet who can never understand what it is to be as you are?' He nodded, almost to himself. 'Yes. This is how William felt every day of his existence and it is why his torment took him from me, as he too searched this world for the answers that he had sought since he was young.'

I understood completely what it felt like to be alone, to feel so very different from everyone else, but to experience it for that amount of time?

'Eight hundred years,' I said, awe-struck. Even saying it out loud twisted a knot in my stomach.

Montague smiled, wistful. 'Indeed. He found it an unfathomable burden, to know no other like him. There are, of course, vampires who have lived far, far longer lives than he, but they have done so with the knowledge that others share what it is to be as they are. In addition, these are the ones who sit atop our hierarchal system, so for them, even an eternity on this Earth is not enough, and yet they still fail to see all that passes them by. William, on the other hand, welcomed fresh experiences. He thrived on learning, whether that be new technology, new places, people, media, arts, or culture.'

He looked at us then, but I knew it was his love he saw, all the times they spent together, all the experiences they had shared.

'I used to tell him all the time that he had restless feet; always had this constant need to move on. A nomad vampire if you like! It was his nomadic ways that eventually took him away from me. He grew frustrated when in one place for too long.'

'He left you?' I asked, surprised at how deeply I felt the sadness that haunted his gaze.

'Actually, I left him.' He sighed, casting his eyes downwards as if ashamed to say it. 'After I was reborn into the blood, we did not linger long in London. As a doctor, I was well-known, so it was too risky for me to stay. Too many questions would have been asked. I could no longer tend to the sick and dying. Daylight forbade it. And what good is a doctor that can only help his patients during the night hours? No, we had to move on, and so I accompanied William on his travels. We moved on to Rochester, Canterbury, and Dover and from there we caught a ship over to Europe and travelled together through Calais, Boulogne, Dieppe, Rouen and then onto Paris where we remained for a while, so in love with the city we became. That city was alive! To be honest, I did not want to leave that place, but it was not long before William said we should continue.'

'Why didn't you insist you wanted to stay if you loved Paris so much?' I said.

Montague raised a brow as if my question amused him, or that his answer entertained him more. 'I loved him. In fact, I was wildly in love with him. I could not bear to be apart from him. Wherever he went, I would go too. I suppose that is what you do when you're in love.'

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