Chapter 96: I Don't Want to be in Love, Mama, I Don't Want to Die

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 "Day three of sunny weather in Liverpool, with the same high as it was yesterday, we're not sure if our usually windy Liverpool will keep up with this summer-like weather..."

"You ready, love?" John asked over the radio as he passed me a plate of curry.

"And on top of the charts, we have Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean..."

"Ready," I told him. "Definitely ready."

The day of the contract signing, and I was ready for it. This morning I woke, feeling the sheets between my bare legs and a tenderness in the space between my hips.

"But are you? It's a big decision," John said as he slid into his seat next to me, holding a mug of tea. The loaf of bread sat on the kitchen counter, the kitchen counter I knew I could possibly never see the same way again.

"We all right?" John said.

The thing that he was talking about last night, the stillness in the air, all of it was gone.

"Yes."

John wanted to take a cab to treat ourselves, but I insisted on a bus, just the two of us taking the bus to work like normal people. Just the two of us, about to stand on the bus because there would be no seats. John was wearing his leather jacket and a dark pair of trousers; I was wearing slacks and a sweater under my olive coat with the floral interior.

Just like every day. But I felt like we were on a honeymoon. Every day, with John.

"There it is," John said, holding my hand in the pocket of his leather jacket, his fingers warming up mine. "Our bus to success. Can't believe Eppy fell under our spell. He's like an old man."

"He's not that much older than we are," I reminded John, laughing, searching my pockets for my bus ticket—but wait, I kept my spare bus ticket in my purse, which I realized—

"Shite," I groaned. "Love, I left my purse at home. I need my ticket. Do you have any spare change?"

John checked his pockets. "No, love. Here, I'll walk back with ye."

"No, you'll miss it," I said. "Just go. It looks better if you all are there. It'll be faster if I quickly run home and then grab a bus." I couldn't believe I had forgotten my purse, stepping over it like it was the trash needing to be taken out, caught up in the spell of the night before.

He looked like he was going to argue, but the queue had already gone inside the bus and the driver, a thin man with a mustache, was looking at John like come on!

"All right, see you there," he said, moving to get on the bus, and then when he had one foot in the door, raced back to quickly kiss me. "Love you."

"Love you," I told him back, squeezing the leather of his jacket.

"Come on, lovebirds," I heard someone grumble, and John stepped onto the bus and slid his token into the slot. The doors closed and the bus rolled away as I turned around to hurry home, eager to get to Brian's and sign the contract.

As I rounded the block to the entrance of our flat, I noticed a familiar figure standing at the entrance to our flat. "Louise!" I called out, and she turned around. "What brings you around here?" I glanced at my watch; I didn't have much time to stay and chat.

"Oh, I was just clearing out your room and I realized you left a few things." In her arms she held a large blanket. I frowned, and remembered why I had bought the quilt we now used—I had forgotten my main blanket at George's. "You'll get cold in the wintertime," she said, smiling at me in the way that mothers do. "I thought I would bring it by just in case. I'm just running a few errands in the area anyways."

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