one night stand | spencer reid

sixteen

stella's pov:

"so, stella, tell me about your recent case. you don't have to give me every detail, just the important ones. i want to know what your mind was processing before, during, and after going undercover."

i stare at my therapist as she speaks so gently. i take a deep breath, trying to recall what my brain was processing during those moments.

"before, i was nervous. agent winters and i had to make it look like i was kidnapped, which required him hitting me over the head." i take a deep breath. "can i have some water?"

my therapist, camila, looks up from her notepad and smiles. "sure. i'm pretty positive you know where it is, correct?"

i nod and shoot back a smile as i head over to the counter, which houses coffee, tea, and water. i pull out a water cup and press down on the disposal, meanwhile trying to figure out what to say next.

"you know, it's almost like i was calm." i begin as i sit back down. "once i was in there, the hard part was over with. once i was in my little cage, i knew i wasn't alone. i sort of made a friend in there. her name is kayla, while we didn't talk much, but we shared our experiences."

"do you still speak to kayla to this day?"

i shake my head. "i never got her last name. and if i did, i don't remember."

"okay. why don't you tell me what happened when the raid happened."

i sigh and my mind recalls that memory. "i knew they were coming, i just didn't know when. so, once they came in, i wasn't all that surprised. my body rose in fear the moment they started firing shots. i was tied to my chair in the crossfire. one stray bullet to the head and boom, i'm dead. once i got down, my fear subsided, but then i got shot in the leg!" i let out a slight, unmeaningful chuckle.

"so it wasn't the element of surprise, it was the fear of being trapped?"

i nod.

"okay, well, is there anything else that has been happening in your work environment lately?"

i think back to my fight with emily, the slight argument with spencer. i let out yet, another sigh. "yes."

"why don't you elaborate on that for me?" camila asks, giving me a nice smile.

i nod, and continue. "i wouldn't say i'm creating a big fight, but i'm starting to get annoyed and tired all the time. and when someone keeps dragging on a conversation, i often lash out, saying things like i don't want to talk about this right now, or please just stop. and then i walk out of wherever i am, or continue work. also, to add onto the lashing out, at the end of my last case, one of my co-workers kissed me."

i watch as camila's eyes widen when i mention my kiss with spencer. "how did that make you feel?"

i shrug. "i don't know. i like him and all, but i'm worried that it'll interfere with work, and i don't want to ruin a potential relationship with him because of what is going on inside my head."

i watch camila's exhale, and she gives me her schpiel on how i need to just give it time, and then go from there.

"how did you resolve your fights with people?"

"i often went over to them when i calmed down and just apologized. i said that i had a lot going on and that i'm working on it. they understand, i mean we work the same job."

she nods. "that's good. well, i think that's all for today."

"okay, thank you so much, camila." i get up and shake her hand, and as i'm walking out, she calls after me.