The Sky is Everywhere

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"There's so much I want to show you when we get out of here," Roan says.

We're tangled on the grass again, and I'm aware that rec time is running out, but I want to take every second I can with Roan.

He's running his fingers up and down the slope of my spine, and every now and then he makes contact with a slice of exposed skin at my back, where my jumper has ridden up. It's the faintest of touches, but it turns me to butterflies.

"There's so much I want to see," I say,

We're both aware that it's not going to be as simple as that: Even if I get to leave the CC, I won't simply be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. The CC has been around for more than twenty years. People are used to it. The effective use of anti-Second propaganda means that far too many people support it. Much as I hate the place, I am very aware that it's also the one thing standing between Seconds and the people who hate us. We will be vulnerable without it.

But I don't want to think about that. I want to focus on the positives, all the thing we will have when we're free.

"I want to visit a cinema," I say, thinking of the stories that Priya has told me, based on films that she used to watch.

Roan laughs a little. "We can definitely manage that."

"And I want to see London, though maybe not the Underground. I don't like the sound of that." I look up at him, and he smiles, and it's so warm and bright and beautiful that I think his soul might be a sun.

"I want to see the big things too. I want to see waterfalls and mountains and forests and rivers, all the stuff you showed me."

"That might be a little harder. Believe me, I'd love to travel the world too, but it doesn't come cheap," Roan says.

"Oh." I haven't even thought about that, and a little flicker of panic starts up.

"It's okay, though," Roan says, reading my face. "The world isn't going anywhere, and once you're out of here, we'll have a lifetime to save up for travelling. We'll have a lifetime to see everything we want to."

While I love the idea of that, and I'm shaking inside at the casual way Roan mentions spending the rest of our lives together . . .

"I don't have any idea how money works," I say in a small voice. "I don't know how to buy things – I don't –"

"Hey, it's okay," Roan says, kissing my forehead. "I'll teach you all that. Rosie will teach you."

"But . . ."

"But what?" He strokes my cheek.

I exhale. "I'm just realising how much I don't know about the outside."

"Don't look at it as how much you don't know; look at it as how much you have yet to experience and look forward to. Even if we can't travel the world for a while, there's so much else we can do," Roan says. "I'm definitely taking you to the beach one day."

"I can't swim."

"I'll teach you."

"You're going to get bored of teaching me everything," I warn, and I'm not sure if I'm joking or not.

"Never. Besides, you're not going to be the only one. Every single Second will have to learn everything that we take for granted on the outside."

It occurs to me that Priya, who struggles so much inside the CC, would probably just go back to normal if we're freed. She will go from being the odd one out to the normal one.

Maybe she can help educate the rest of us.

"How are you going to do that though? There are hundreds of us – you and Rosie can't teach everyone."

"Look, Caia, I'm not going to lie to you. This won't be easy. There are a lot of challenges ahead, and some Seconds might actually find they preferred living in the CC because it's familiar, because so much was done for them, because the unknown can be very scary. There are going to be people on the outside who won't like you just because you're Seconds, and they will go out of their way to make sure you know that. They will be aggressive, they will be cruel, and some of them will be violent. I'm not saying this to scare you, but to prepare you. Even if we break down the CC, we'll still have to contend with decades of government conditioning teaching people to hate Seconds. We are only the first step in what could be a very long fight, in more than one way."

"But it'll be worth it. Maybe there will always be people who hate us, but I'd rather face that if it means working towards a future in which Seconds aren't treated as property. But I am nervous about it too. I'm even nervous about the good parts," I admit. "The world is so big and I want to explore it all, but I understand so little of it."

"Good thing you've got me then," Roan says, smiling. "No matter what happens, I won't let you get overwhelmed."

I'm not necessarily sure that's something he can prevent, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Roan glances at his watch and gives a little groan. "I should go."

I hate this part. I know it's only temporary – tomorrow we'll both be right back here – but our time together never seems like long enough. I'm acutely aware that my body is coming alive in ways I've never really felt before, and that has everything to do with Roan. Every time his fingers brush that bare bit of my back, I want him to keep going, to move lower, to introduce me all the sensations that I never thought I would feel and now can't wait to.

But absolutely nothing like that will be happening out here.

Even if the risk of being heard wasn't so great, there are some experiences that I want to save for outside the cage. And the days until freedom are steadily ticking away.

Roan climbs to his feet, stretching "Come on, you."

He pulls me to my feet so he can kiss me goodbye, and I melt into the softness of his lips. I could live another hundred years and never get tired of kissing him.

Unfortunately, we don't have time for a long goodbye. I can't risk cutting things too close – I have to be back at the CC before rec time ends.

I watch Roan as he crawls through the fence and starts on his way back to the city, disappearing into the thick woodland that separates the CC from civilisation, and then I make my way out of the secret spot, dusting off my clothes as I emerge on the other side of the screen of bushes.

But I'm not alone.

Shock draws me up short, and my heart misses a beat.

Cole is standing there, eyes narrowed.