Chapter 36

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Hayden opens his mouth the protest, but I shake my head to cut him off once again.

"Hayden, we have to," I say quietly. "I don't want to either, but it's the only place we have. Where else would we set the fire? The pack house?"

It's a rhetorical question that we both already know the answer to.

"Hayden," I say in the softest tone I'be ever used when speaking to him. "Burning our house down is the last thing I want to do. The hybrids are going to come straight here, and the less warning they have, the higher our chances of pulling this off are."

"I know," he grunts, but I see the understanding in his eyes.

I hope down from the stool and grab my ingredients and a pot to mix it together in. The book said to grind the wolfsbane into a powdery texture and combine it with water first, and then have it come to a boil. The quickest way I can think of to grind the leaves is to crumble them with my fingers. We don't have a grinder to do it for us.

So that's what I do. I pinch the wolfsbane between my fingers, which would burn them if I wasn't  a hybrid. I hold the little pieces over the pot and dump them in, brushing off my fingers to make sure none of it is left behind. I half fill the pot with water and then I start boiling it. I put a lid on top so the fumes don't weaken Mara and Hayden.

"We should pack anything we want to save," I say quietly, turning away from the stove to look at Hayden and Mara. It still doesn't feel real that our plan is to burn our house down. I should be more upset than I am, but I don't know how to actually feel right now. Once the fire is actually started, I know I'll be a wreck. Until then, I just do what I need to do. There's no point in forcing myself to feel a certain way when it will inevitable happen.

"Yeah, we should," Hayden agrees, getting up from the stool.

Mara gets up too. "Let us know when it's our turn. We'll start gathering the irreplaceables."

I nod, turning back to the stove. I place one hand on my stomach, the small bump somehow managing to calm me down. Once again, I feel like I should be feeling the opposite way. Reminding myself of my baby feels like it should be stressing me out more because there's more at risk, not calming me down from how dangerous these next few hours of my life are going to be.

Once I get Max away from the hybrids, him and I have to get out of here as soon as possible. We can't be anywhere near the fumes when Mara and Hayden start the fire. Max might also be too weak to shift and run at full speed, so I may have to carry him on my back. I don't know what kind of condition he's in right now, and our mind link isn't working. The hybrids must have done something to stop us from communicating that way.

I know it's not because he's dead. I've obviously never experienced what happens when your mate does die, but I know it's one of the most painful things a werewolf can go through. If the hybrids killed Max, I would know. I wouldn't be standing here devising a plan on how to fight them off feeling like everything is going to be okay, that's for sure.

I think about the things I want to grab when Mara and Hayden come back to finish the mixture, and the only thing I know for sure I want is my grandmother's jewelry box.

It came from my dad's mom, and she gave it to me when I was three years old. I very faintly remember the day. Hayden, Violet, and I were over at her house, because Ryder was just born and my parents were at the hospital. Hayden and Violet were napping, something I never did as a child. I was never tired, and now that I think about, it's probably because I was a hybrid. Even with the vampire being buried deep inside of me, I guess I was still "stronger" than most.

My grandma and I were sitting on the back porch eating chocolate covered strawberries when she gave it to me. She had filled it with tiny little bracelets and necklaces for me to wear, and I was obsessed. Obviously, the jewelry within it has changed since I first got it, but the importance of it has remained the same. I don't want to lose it.

When the wolfsbane has dissolved in the water and the mixture starts boiling, I call for Hayden and Mara. The second I dump the garlic in, I'm going to want to get out of here.

Mara comes into the kitchen first, and meets me by the stove. With the pot being covered with a lid, there's no fumes escaping from the wolfsbane. "As soon as I take the lid off, I'm dumping the garlic and racing upstairs. Mix it in and recover the pot so it doesn't start to weaken me. I need as much strength as possible so I can get Max and I out of here before the fire starts."

Mara nods, and we act out the actions just the way I said we would. I quickly take the lid off and dump in the garlic, and I leave to let Mara finish the job. I almost run into Hayden in my haste to make it upstairs, and he has a large backpack full of stuff slung over his shoulder.

At the top of the stairs, I slow down. This is the last time I'm ever going to be up here, and I want to take in as much of it as I can. I walk down the hall to my bedroom, gently swinging the door of it open.

Everything is exactly where I left it when Max first mind linked me. The bed is unmade, there's a few clothes scattered across the floor, and the empty bowl of popcorn is still on my nightstand from last night. The room looks so lived in, and it breaks my heart that after today, it won't even exist.

All the memories are just gone.

I fall to my knees as my body is taken over with uncontrollable sobs. I cover my head with my hands, my body shaking as big tears roll down my cheeks.

I can't help it.

I grew up in this house and watched my family grow to what it is now. Mara and I had countless sleepovers in this very room. This room has gone through so many changes as I changed throughout the years.

This is where I first met Max.

After today, it will all be gone.

I continue sobbing, the emotions too much for me to handle right now. Suddenly, a pair of arms wrap around me, and I know from the delicate touch that it's Mara.

"Shh, it's going to be okay, Brynn," she whispers, sitting down with her legs criss-crossed and gently laying my head down in her lap.

"I can't believe we're burning our house down," I cry, burying my face into her thigh. I cry some more, and she soothingly runs her hand up and down my back. I cry until I have no more tears left to cry, and then I cry some more.

And then I really don't have any tears left. I lay with my head in Mara's lap for a while longer, letting my body calm down from the stress and crying, and she doesn't stop rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, but I'm not sure what I'm saying sorry for.

"Brynn, you have nothing to be sorry for."

I sit up and wipe away the remainder of tears that remain on my face, along with a giant glob of snot from my now-stuffy nose. "It's the pregnancy hormones. They just really send me over the edge sometimes." A small laugh escapes my mouth.

"Brynn, it's okay," Mara laughs. "I've got you're back through all of this."

I look up and smile at her. "Yeah. I know."

B. We're here.

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