she makes me happy - 11

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"Bil, can I borrow one of your sweatshirts?" I ask, one day while we're sitting in her room. I'm braiding her hair and she's lying in my lap. It's these little moments that make me want to cry with how much I love her. "God, you're so cute." I whisper, kissing the tip of her nose and then her forehead.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm not cute." She pouts. I shake my head, laughing. "I love you." She says, suddenly. 

Holy shit, she said she loves me. Holy shit! PANIC. SHE'S LYING TO YOU. "No, you don't," I chuckle. Billie rolls her eyes and I lean down to kiss her jaw. She hums, quietly. 

She brings her hand up to my cheek, lightly holding it. I love that about her, she's always been so gentle with me. "I love you." She says again. "I really love you so much." 

"I love you, too." I whisper, hesitantly.

⋆⋆⋆

It's been a few hours since we said 'I love you' for the first time. We're still cuddling and chatting, Billie occasionally showing me a funny video on her phone. It's peaceful and I wouldn't change anything for the world.

Finneas comes in and knocks on the door frame, asking Billie to talk to him for a moment. My stupid brain went, Ooh, she's in troubleee. 

I could only hear a bit from them, something like, "Are you leading this girl on again?" Billie denies it, I only knew because she basically yells it.

Are you leading this girl on again?  Replayed in my mind. Again. She's done this before? Oh boy. I feel myself tearing up, but I quickly wipe at my eyes and try to hide it as Billie comes back in. "I thought you said you'd never been with a girl before." I say, cautiously. 

Her face flushes red. "Um, well, here's the thing..." I lean my head against the wall, desperately willing myself not to cry. "No, baby, please just hear me out?" 

"Billie, stop." She falls silent, tearing up a bit. "I don't care what your fucking explanation is." I snap, my eyes staring coldly at hers. She looks terrified. Part of me wants to take her into my arms and kiss her cheek, wrap my arms around her waist and apologize. The other part of me is simply on the defense, simply trying to protect me from getting my heart broken again. "I'm not letting someone do this to me. I'm not just going to let you hurt me." 

She runs her hands through her hair, momentarily letting it get caught in her nails before yanking her hand away, slightly wincing. "Roxie, please," Her voice breaks, and it makes something inside me so overprotective of her. "I promise you, it's not what it sounded like." I really want to believe her. I want to  I just kiss and make up. I want this to be some picture-perfect fairy tale happy ending. "Please, just listen to me?" She begs, biting her lips, clearly concentrating on not falling apart.

"I can't do this, Billie." 

A/N: UM HELLO. I know this is short, but I've been working a lot on the next chapter and I'm very excited, I've been very busy with school and family, so my apologies on that. 

Drink some water, lovelies! <3


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