WAKE (Wattpad edition)

32. What she wanted.

{Cary}

His room was swept clean, the wall beside his door bare, the mattress stripped and the sheets and blankets he'd used for the last half year in the washing machine downstairs. Pete and Mel hadn't said anything to him yet, but they didn't have to. This was the end of the line. He knew he had to go.

He could hear Kadee in the kitchen, running the water and clattering the dishes. He felt charged and electric, all the hairs on his skin at attention when she was close. He had planned to stay protected and distant; seeing her made it harder to leave.

His bare feet made no sound in the hall, and he stood for a moment in the doorway of the kitchen. Kadee was humming under her breath, swaying her hips as she washed the dishes in the sink. Her crown of braids left the lotus flower on the back of her neck exposed, and Cary swallowed, thinking about running his fingers over that. It wasn't up to him anymore if he stayed distant—he was all mixed up about this girl.

"Hey," he said in a low voice.

Kadee turned and took a breath, her face lit up and open. The thing that she clearly wanted caught in his chest and tugged him forward. His stomach was knotted, feeling how hurt and angry she was going to be just moments from now, and he owed her—something. To make up for that.

He bent his head and she shut her eyes, tipping her face to his. Swallowing down his aching stomach, he touched his lips to hers. He was a little clumsy, and she put her hand against his back, steadying him, snugging her hips against his. The softness of her, the strength of her body arching to meet him, the heat of her desire sparking under his touch, filled his head until there was no room for anything else. Somewhere in the breathless exploration of hands and tongues and lips, he had lifted her onto the narrow ledge of the sink and she was anchored against him with her legs wrapped around his hips, her hand gripping his shoulder tightly to steady herself. He barely felt the pressure of the bruise under her fingers in the midst of the heady rush of pleasure.

One of her hands snaked between their bodies, pulling up first her shirt, then his. The smoothness of her bare stomach against his was so electrifying that he gasped, tipping his head back. She tucked her head under his chin, her own breathing unsteady as she found his button and tugged it open. His body twitched, simultaneously flinching and straining toward her.

"This?" she whispered.

The pain in his stomach was cold and sharp as ice. She drew his hand to cup her stomach, catching her breath as she slid his freezing fingers onto the hot skin under her waistband.

"Cary?" she said, her voice cracking. "What do you want? Before you go."

He drew back and looked at her face. Her lips were trembling and her eyes shone with tears. She turned her chin, but she was too close to hide. A wave of nausea rolled over him, watching her try to hide her crying in his arms.

He pulled away so rapidly she lost her balance and almost fell of the counter ledge. He managed to catch her and set her back on the floor, backing up and turning his shoulder to cover his motion to adjust himself and do up his pants. His hands were shaking with his body. He ran them over his hair, which she had left wildly rumpled, and ducked his head into the shelter of his arms, squeezing the back of his neck tightly.

"Not this. Sorry, Kadee." His voice was dry and tight. He couldn't look at her, wrapping his arms over his body, his skin still shivering from the way her hands had been all over him. He was abruptly remembering other times with girls whose names he'd never known, the grit of dirt in his clothes and the empty feeling of relief after. He'd been barely a person then and had treated their bodies with little more regard than he'd treated his own. That wasn't him—anymore.