Shrek X Joe Biden X Donald Trump - A Love Story

Trump finds out about Shrek's promiscuity

Trump pov

It was Monday morning, and I quickly put on my spray tan so I would look like a tangerine. I also poured 1 whole gallon of cat piss on my hair, giving it a wonderful golden shine and aroma. I then proceeded to Naruto run at the speed of sound. I arrived at school and bumped into somebody who reeked of onions and swamp water. I instantly knew who it was. 

"Watch it, you fat bitch!!" I yelled, causing some heads to turn. Great why do I always have to draw attention to myself. I wish I could just get out of this situation and find Shaqusiha and Rachel. I'm just to e d g y.

Shrek got really close to my beautiful face and blew her stanky breath all over my face it invaded all of my senses and it smelled like ass. Shrek screamed at me causing an even bigger scene " uhh shut up, you cat piss whore, I am not fat. I'm just thicccccccccccccc." 

"No, Shrek, just admit that you're fat. If you wouldn't eat so many children, you wouldn't be as wide as the fucking hallway, and I wouldn't have bumped into you, you fat whore." 

I knew what I said was hurtful but somebody had to say it, because if I didn't then who would? I was just being honest. Then I heard the words I hoped I would never hear. 

"Well Joe seemed to like allll of my luscious curves when I had sex with him." 

Those words made my ears bleed. Those words made made me want to puke. She was already winning. She is getting what she wants. I didn't want to hear that, especially when I was starting to  think that my plan to steal Biden from her was starting to work. I should have known that this would have happened. She even called him Joe, which means they are close now. Biden seems so out of reach, I feel like I could cry. But imma a bad bitch so I legally can not cry. 

"I doubt y'all had sex, because there is now way he could tolerate looking at your disgusting body. I bet with all those fat rolls he couldn't even find your p*$$y."

I snatched her hideous pink weave and walked away like a bad bitch while all the people stared at that whore Shrek. Then I began thinking if she really did have sex with Biden. If she did, that means I should steal Fiona away from Shrek to get pay back. I know that she will be a clingy bitch, and she'll try to tell me every single detail of her life, but it will be worth it once everyone knows what a skank Shrek had become. 

( the people who were standing in the hallway began to whisper)

" oh my god it's literally 8 am and these fucking freshmen are already screaming" person 1 said to person 2 in annoyance. " Ugh I know they are such a nuisance can't they just be fucking quiet" person 2 said to person 1 as they started to walk down the hallway.

Time Skip

Once lunch time arrived, I ran out of the room and looked for that dumb bitch, Fiona. Once I spotted her, I used my super speed to carry her away to a beautiful mountain side in Ireland. 

"What the hell! why did you kidnap me!!" she screamed in my delicate ears as I dropped her on the muddy ground.  I didn't kidnap her I just took her to a place with out her consent which is totally legal. God she is so stupid.

"Listen, dumbass. I brought you here for only one reason: Shrek is cheating on you. She literally said that she had sex with Biden this weekend while you were at home sick."

"w-w-w what? Shrek is cheating on me?" she was starting to cry now. This is exactly what I wanted. But it is still so annoying.

"Yuh. She has fucked at least half of all the students at school behind your back. But do not fret, my dear, for I have a plan. I want you to go up to Shrek, slap her in the face, tell her that you are breaking up with her, and then tell her that you and I are now dating." Fiona looked at me in awe.  

"I like how  dominant you are. Ok I will do that, hopefully you won't cheat on me." She ran into my arms. 

I felt so compelled to hit her with a chair, but I decided to hug her back despite my repulsion. This was going just as planed. 

Time skip

It was the end of the day, and everybody was surrounding Shrek like they usually do. Then Fiona did exactly like I said. 

"I'm dating Donald now!" she screamed at Shrek. She grabbed my hand and walked away with me. 

I looked back at Shrek and almost the entire school and stuck out my tongue. While everybody stood there in shock, Shrek gave me a murderous stare. 

Once Fiona and I made it out of the school, I decided to tell her the second part of my plan for revenge. "Hey Fiona, I think we should make a sex tape and send it to Shrek to make her jealous and realize what she just lost." 

Part two of my plan was about to happen, but I didn't want it to. I just wanted to get back at Shrek for abandoning me. It didn't matter if I had to use Fiona or Biden for this plan. Though Biden would have been preferable because he isn't so stupid or clingy.

"O-o-ok," Fiona said as she looked up to me blushing. She looked as red as a strawberry. Her ugly face  quickly snapped me out of my thoughts. I picked her up and then Naruto ran all the way to my house. 

"Strip," I said as I set up the camera. She followed my orders, and I began working on starting our little film. 

Timeskip ( I just can't write smut I will cry)

After we finished our film and got cleaned up, she sent the film to Shrek, and then typed "oops! That was supposed to go to Trump :)" ......