Heart and Soul [bxb]

Chapter Thirty-Seven (Pt. 1)

On the first weekend after break started, the day before Christmas Eve, Carter sat at his desk when someone opened his bedroom door unannounced.

"Knock, knock."

"You should knock before you open the door," Carter grumbled as Bella closed the door after entering his room. "And you're supposed to ask before inviting yourself in," he added.

Bella crossed her arms with a huff. "Look, I came holding a metaphorical white flag, but you seriously need to get over yourself for this to work."

Carter let go of the pencil he was using to solve Calc problems and turned to face her with a frown. "What do you want?"

Bella walked over to his bed and took a seat. Carter raised his eyebrows, unimpressed, and she huffed again.

"May I sit here?" She cooed with an eye roll.

"What if I said no?"

"Then you could fuck off."

"Your white flag seems a little grayish," Carter noted.

Bella took a deep breath in, exhaling slowly through her mouth. She was wearing a Rolling Stones top again. Carter tried not to think about Seth, despite the fact the logo reminded him of his childhood best friend.

Thinking of Seth in Bella's presence made him think of the two of them tangled up in each other on Bella's bed. And that brought something akin to anger to his chest.

"I have two things I need to say to you," Bella told him calmly.

"Who says I want to hear it?"

"The first is an apology," Bella started, ignoring Carter's rhetorical question.

"Come again?"

Bella glared. "I will not," she asserted. "But—I am aware I might have been a bit of a bitch to you, on occasion."

Carter scoffed. "A bit? On occasion?"

"Seriously, get off that fucking gold pedestal and listen," Bella scolded.

Carter sunk back into his chair, looking at her. Bella took another deep breath, before starting again evenly, her eyes down on her jeans.

"I know I'm not the easiest person to live with. Not to you, at least. And you probably didn't deserve it all. I just..." She looked up with a somewhat exasperated look. "I have six brothers, man, I didn't really need another one. And don't get me wrong, your mom is great and I love how happy the old man is around her..."

Carter's interest spiked. "But?"

"But she's not my mom," Bella stated plainly. "And again, I love that my dad loves her. I never wanted him to live in grief and loneliness for the rest of his days, but she's still not my mom." She shrugged. "I don't know if you've noticed, but my brothers get a lot from my dad. Like, practically everything. But there's a lot of shit I got from my mom. Like not being a morning person, or being a zero in the kitchen, and...the photos..."

Carter shifted awkwardly when she trailed off, her eyes lowering again. The truth was he wasn't even too sure what she meant. He didn't know Bella that well, and he knew close to nothing about Tony's first wife. He also didn't expect Bella to come into his room and try to talk to him. Ever.

Being annoyed to see her when she first walked in without knocking had been easy, but sitting through her genuine effort toward communication was proving unbelievably uncomfortable.

"I just," Bella tried again, catching his gaze. "There were a lot of things I shared with my mom that I'll never share with anyone else. And your mom is great, but she's not her. And you..."