Paul and Dawn: First Light

Chapter 55 B (Dawn POV)

Hey, for those of you who don't go back and read chapter 55 (which you really should unless you're a robot and don't like emotions), here's a sentence worth of a recap to at least get in the tone of this chapter:

"Something was born between us, Dawn," I whispered to her. "But I can't let it grow."

Chapter 55 B

Uneven Ground 

My feet stepped one after another, stumbling on uneven ground. I wasn't paying attention. My mind was in a haze and I didn't think I could see or hear or feel. 

I wished I couldn't feel. 

My heart was choking. It felt like it was dying and that all I could do was keep moving my feet, tripping over them, not caring that I was close to falling over so many times. What did falling matter when the rest of me was broken? 

I bumped into a tree I hadn't seen and caught myself with my left hand. I didn't even gasp. My eyes slowly focused on my left hand as it scraped against bark. It didn't hurt. Not anymore. It was healed. 

I wanted my wrist to be broken again. I wanted things to go back to the way they were before, back when Paul- 

At the thought of his name, I held back a sob. My eyes stung painfully, my chest threatened to cave in, my body wanted to crumple. 

Paul. 

I held it all back. I couldn't cry. Not now. Not when he was so close. 

How could you do this to me? I asked him desperately in my head, unable to help myself. How could you reject me like this when I've given you everything? 

I could understand if he didn't love me back. I could understand that some people aren't meant to be with each other even when it felt like it, but I also understood that Paul, no matter how much he tried, didn't seem to know that love wasn't an emotion that could be banished. Life went on afterward, but love didn't fade.  

I hesitantly allowed myself to remember when I first began to feel a pull towards him in Sinnoh. He'd talked to me- only me. I could tell there was a connection between us that he didn't have with other people, even if he acted like I annoyed him. He'd chosen me then. 

So why didn't he choose me now? 

I squeezed my right hand into a fist and felt a sharp pain. I opened my palm and stared at Paul's Rising Badge. I'd forgotten it was there. 

Grotle had evolved into Torterra to get stronger. Paul said it was time for me to leave so we could both get stronger. Apart from each other.  

Right now I felt weak and insignificant, small, hurt, confused, and so many other emotions that I couldn't name. It was the opposite of what the Rising Badge was supposed to represent and I hated his present that spoke cruel lies to me. "Without you, Dawn, I am stronger." 

It was a lie.  

The badge gleamed in the sun, my skin's warmth making it uncomfortable to hold, yet I couldn't drop it because it was his. He may let go of me, or think he did, but I knew that love wasn't something that could just fall away like nothing had ever happened.  

Because of that, I knew Paul would figure out that I was right for him. That I could be his and he could be mine and things didn't have to be so stupidly complex. Life didn't have to be a gamble of strangers and enemies hiding in the shadows like he thought. I was sad he thought that life was so sinister when it was so full of happiness, but that was Paul and I loved him even if his hope was broken. 

I didn't know how someone without hope, or so little of it, could fill me with so much. 

He'll come back, I stated to myself, gripping the badge hard in my hand until it trembled. He has to come back. Please, God, make him come back. 

It was a selfish prayer, but I tried to ignore my selfishness. I wanted it too badly to take it back. 

My head was still a mess, though my feet seemed to find even ground more easily. I could see a bit better, my breathing didn't feel as suffocated. I didn't think I'd be able to breathe the right way until Paul understood he loved me and that getting away from me wouldn't stop that. 

Suddenly, I heard angry, frantic chirping. 

Piplup. 

I started running, forcing myself forward, trying to remember not to be clumsy as I heard my partner scream.

Helloooo Trainers and Coordinators!

It feels like it's been forever since I've updated. Fortunately for you, I do have some good news. I've been working on First Faith a good bit this week. The bad (and somewhat good news) is that First Faith occurs after a bunch of shorter stories with Dawn and Paul, which I still have to write. BUT I have been writing more this week, so you should be glad. If you're not glad... well, I can't help you. 

Thanks so much for reading! If you want to vote, comment, follow (has anyone seriously not followed me by this point of the story? I don't want to sound big headed, but I can't imagine anyone reading this far and still not be hooked enough to follow)... please go ahead and do that :)

Well, I'm tired. I just got done packaging food with an organization called Feed My Starving Children (which you should totally check out). We packaged over 520,000 meals in an hour and a half. I mean, just WHAT!? That's enough food to feed 423 kids for an entire year. It was a lot of fun and I got to wear a hair net. I'd never worn one before. Is it weird that I kept it? Probably. 

I'm continuing to type this because I'm procrastinating homework. I don't want to read articles about Jane Austen, as much as I'm learning from her writing. Did you know novels used to be frowned upon. People were all "You read novels!? BAH! How uncivilived." I wonder what they'd think about fanfiction lol. Pompous people with no imagination, that's what they were. 

Alright, my procrastination is going to end. I seriously hope you enjoyed the chapter. The next Dawn POV I think is my favorite one too. Well, I can't help it though. I have character favoritism. Don't we all? Don't lie, I know you do.

Pokemon Question of the Day: What would be your favorite form of procrastination in the Pokemon world? Because, really, that must be why no one goes to high school in the Pokemon world (which is actually false in my version of the Pokemon world, which will be more obvious when I give backstory in Next Gen). If I was there, I'd just be watching battles and trying to smuggle Pokemon into my house as a child. It'd be wonderful. We'd stay up all night and play, which is my Pokemon world version. Real world version- I sneak my Gameboy into bed with me and play my Red version (with my special little light attachment), feeling all devious since I'm supposed to be asleep instead of defeating evil organizations in casinos. I'm awesome like that.

Have an awesome day! 

-Flips