IT'LL BE OKAY

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Percy walked towards the Bunker, knowing he'd find Leo there. He wanted to talk to Leo about it. But Percy knew he was just as ruined. 
He felt helpless now. People kept looking at him like he was still wounded. Percy's body still ached. He didn't let on with how much pain he was still in. His old wounds, sure they healed, but they still throbbed. Nothing could beat his mind however. Percy always saw them. He saw Silver in his room, at dinner, at the lake, the arena, everywhere. He saw Red Blood in the faces of people he saw all the time. He felt the whip in his nightmares.

Percy paused at the canoe lake and sat down on a chair someone had left. Probably a couple. He wanted to go underwater, but he no longer could do what he could as a son of Poseidon. His abilities, gone from whatever they used on him.

Percy heard movement and glanced over as Leo rolled up beside him. 

"Didn't expect to find you here," Leo stated as the two guys glanced at the sun that was beginning to set. 

Percy fiddled with his hands.

"Thought you'd be in your bunker."

Leo shrugged.

"Not like I can do anything there anyway. What's wrong? You can talk to me, you know that right?"
Percy shook his head.
"I...I can't talk about it. It'll ruin you too."
Leo shrugged.

"I'm already ruined from one day. Months of being broken won't kill me."

Percy sighed.
"I see them. Red Blood, Silver...the guards..." Percy looked down. "I see them everywhere. It's like I never...never got out."
Percy felt a single tear trickle down his own cheek. He felt his heart shatter, his world crumble at the thoughts of what was done to him. 

"I was treated...like an animal. A science project. And I was so alone. I felt so alone. No one was there when I needed them."
Percy blinked back the waterfall of tears that threatened to spill.

"Sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" Leo asked as they met each other's gazes.

Percy's body shuddered slightly as he fought back sobs.

"You can't hold it on forever, Percy. Let it out. It's just you and me."
Percy felt himself break once more and this time, he couldn't stop himself from releasing his tears.

"I don't think I'll ever...ever heal again." He began to cry.

"You will..."
Percy shook his head.

"You don't heal from that. What they did...the torture, the loneliness... I thought you guys would never come."
"But we did."
"How could I know that? I thought you guys gave up on me. I thought I would die there. I didn't know if I'd make it out. And it hurt so much."
"Of course it hurt." Leo sighed. "What else happened?"

Percy wanted to say it out loud but was terrified of admitting it happened. His throat seemed to close up.

"Nothing...nothing else happened other than what I said."
"I don't believe that. You didn't tell us everything. When you want to, I'll listen."
Leo was good. Percy forgot how well Leo could read someone's emotions. He never let on about it publicly, but Percy had talked to Leo before and Leo seemed to figure it out before anyone else.

Percy closed his hands into fists. He cried more.

"They...they did more than just torture me. Silver he..."
Percy choked on his own sobs.

"He what?" Leo asked gently.

"He violated...violated me. He touched me and he..." Percy couldn't say it out loud, but he knew Leo put the pieces together.

"Oh, Percy," Leo put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Percy cried. 

"He did it multiple times, followed by some guards...who...who did the same and...I can't let Annabeth or anyone know because they won't understand it and it hurts to think about it and I didn't want to admit it because I sound weak and..."
"Weak?" Leo almost yelled. "That's not making you weak. You couldn't stop what they did to you. But it's stronger for you to talk about it, Percy. Believe me. I know."
Percy glanced over.

"How would you know what that's like?"
Leo sighed. He didn't realize he was about to admit to this. It happened years ago.

"When I was in the foster care, the last house I ran away from before going to the Wilderness school. My foster mom wasn't the nicest. She abused me, Percy. And she would force me to lie with her. She was always drunk, and she did it almost every night."

Leo looked at Percy to see what he was thinking. Percy's eyes had widened.

"She raped you?" 

Leo nodded slowly. 

"Then at the wilderness school, one of the teachers took advantage of me."
"Who knows?"
"Nobody. And I'd like to keep it that way, Percy. It doesn't matter now. It happened a while ago."

Leo wiped his own tears away.

"So yeah. I know exactly how you feel with it."
Percy shifted in his seat.

"If they did it to me, they probably did it to Hazel."
Leo nodded.
"I knew they'd do it to her when I heard she was taken, Percy. It's going to be so much worst for her than for us."
"Definitely. Leo, do you think we'll find her?"
Leo shrugged.

"I don't have an answer. But I pray to the gods we find her. She's the last person who deserved this...uh...no offense."
"No, no. I agree." Percy admitted. "How are you doing though?"
"What kind of a question is that?"
Percy swallowed before he continued.

"You're confined for life, Leo. Talk to me."
"I shouldn't worry you with it. You of all people."
"Don't treat me differently, Leo. everyone is careful with me now, but you don't have to be. I want to listen and help you. Same way you're helping me."
Leo sighed.

"I was the weakest of the group. And when I tried to prove I was strong I got paralyzed for life. There. Happy?"
Leo turned and rolled away. Percy watched his friend go. Percy sighed and looked down. He wanted to help Leo, but knew he had to be careful. He couldn't just step over boundaries. 

Percy looked at the lake.

"Help me, dad." he prayed before he stood and walked towards his cabin.



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