The Honeytrap Heartbreaker

28.

She broke into a flood of tears and had to get away.

She wanted to blame this on that stupid baby but she knew it wasn't a mood swing, it was genuine heart ache.

She couldn't go home. She'd go mad, everything at home reminded her of Jake, her bed smelt of him, his clothes were in her drawers, his aftershave was on her bedside table, his dirty clothes were on her bathroom floor, his mug was on the coffee table and everything was a memory of him. She couldn't control her emotions, she needed some help, and the only place she could think to go was Adam's.

She walked there.

People stared and asked her if she was okay but she just kept going. She knew he would make it better. It took her under an hour to get there and when she knocked the door she looked a picture. She was in tiny white shorts with tight black vest and oversized black sweater, her cheeks were mascara stained, her eyes swollen and red.

"Is Adam here?" Ella sniffed as Nick opened the door.

"No babe but come in."

"Oh no, it's okay." Ella whimpered in the doorway.

"Ella, Adam would never forgive me if I let you walk off like that, get inside." Nick commanded.

She awkwardly followed Nick inside; he told her to sit on the couch whilst Lola made them both a hot chocolate then cleared off. She felt so embarrassed. She couldn't just turn up on Adam's door any more expecting him to drop everything, he had a husband, and he had a family so she really couldn't do this anymore. She tried to apologise to Nick and leave but he practically forced her back onto the sofa.

"So Jake?"

"What?"

"It's just so obvious, you are insanely in love with each other but you both seem to want to sabotage it for some strange reason."

That made Ella's cries deepen.

"He doesn't love me, he said it was only to get me to testify and now I'm stuck with this fucking baby and he isn't interested. He's right I'm such a fuck-up."

"Whoa, hold up. Baby?"

"Yeah baby, I found out yesterday."

"Does Adam know?"

"No-one knows but Jake and Erin now apparently. And he wants nothing to do with it." She said wiping her tears.

"Oh God, you do get pulled through shit don't you!"

"I don't know what to do Nick. I can't do this by myself; I can't even look after myself let alone a baby. Look at the state of me. I'm a mess. I let Jake play me."

"Oh Ella, you're not a mess, you're going through a rough time and you need some help. First of all, fuck Jake, if he doesn't realise how lucky he is to have someone like you then he can rot in hell with that stuck-up bitch!"

They both laughed.

"Secondly, what on earth do you mean you can't do this? Adam has told me a lot about you. You're not a quitter. You're a fighter Ella. You're a bit fucked up at the minute because of your hormones and that jerk-off but trust me having a kid is the most amazing thing you will ever do, even if it is by yourself, trust me!"

"I can't bring a baby into this. I can't let it be hated by its dad."

"Ella did Tom ever tell you what happened with me and Lola's mom?"

She shook her head.

"We met at school, we were high school sweethearts, and we had that naïve childish love. We had Lola when we were eighteen, neither of our parents were particularly thrilled but they helped, I hadn't been honest about my sexuality, I kind of knew all along I liked men but I also kind of got on with it because that's what everyone expected from me.