Chequered Flag | FORMULA ONE (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I sit in my room all alone. Why did I spin? I could've gotten my first win, the first Schumacher win in 15 years. And now here I was, down in P12, devastated and utterly disgusted by my mistake.

Ember though, everyone likes her. She gets better treatment when she performs better than me. She's the goddess of Formula One.

Back in May, I got a P4 finish in Monaco from the very back of the grid by charging through the field and overtaking almost everyone. Yes, Monaco, the tight street circuit that's deemed to be impossible to overtake on, but I managed to pull that off nicely. Yet everyone only congratulated me and said 'good job'. They didn't cheer nor jump up and down like they did with Ember at Interlagos.

The worst thing was Ember was supposed to be a replacement driver for Mazepin. She joined the team for less than half a year, and she practically became the number one driver. That's so unfair.

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm myself down from all these thoughts floating around in my mind. I eventually came to a conclusion.

I was jealous of Ember.

This could not happen. She was my girlfriend, I was supposed to love her, to support her throughout her journey in the top tier of motorsport. Not being jealous half way through the season when she outperforms me for a few races.

Wait no, the situation wasn't that simple. She replaced me as the main driver at Haas. She...

Screw it, so many negative thoughts ran through my mind, and I felt like I was about to blow up.

I needed to talk to someone, and I know who the best person would be.

Gerard.

***

"Come on, Mick! Work harder!" he urged.

I pushed my limits, focusing entirely on the workouts Gerard made me do.

"Okay, I'm exhausted now," I declared, panting. "Working out really vented my anger a lot though."

"Of course, workouts are meant to help you, not just physically, but mentally as well," Gerard patted me at the back. "How do you feel now? Better?"

I nodded.

"Good, good. Now, care to tell me the details of what happened?" asked Gerard.

I took a deep breath and started, "You know how Ember just joined the team not long ago?"

"Yes."

"I feel like she's performing better than me and the team somehow made her the number driver, not officially but the atmosphere is like that." I took another breath and continued, "So now I don't know if jealousy is acting on me or what. I don't feel like myself anymore when I'm with the team and Ember now, and I kind of have this bitterness towards myself for feeling that way."

That's that, and I looked up at Gerard, who took that as a sign that it's the end of my small speech. Gerard's gears cranked in his head, and I waited quite some time for a response from him.

"Okay, I understand where you're coming from. Now, if you're worried about your and her performance, you can train more, or just let it go. Here, see racing as a passion, you love to drive around, lap after lap, on tracks with different conditions. You don't care who's in front of you and who's behind, you just drive your heart out."

I was all ears, and I processed Gerard's wise words until everything was firmly in my mind. "That's some good advice, Gerard. Thank you,"

"You're welcome, Mick," he smiled. "Anything you want to add on?"

"No," I hesitated. "Well yes, actually. What should I do if I just get frustrated again and I can't do anything about it?"

"Remember breathing exercises? The meditation that I taught you? You can use it here," Gerard responded. "Or if you really can't do that, you could just shut off all your senses apart from your ears. Listen to your surroundings, because often those sounds around us calm us down. Alternatively, you could pick up your headphones and listen to music, sort of like Ricciardo. Find some music you actually love, then immerse yourself with the beats, the rhythm. You'll temporarily run away from reality, but it makes you stronger. Here, I'll share my spotify playlist with you so you can listen in the future."

I took all of that information in, and I finally felt better. "Thank you so much Gerard!" I quickly jumped towards him and hugged him. He patted my back as we hugged.

"Anything for you, Mick."

Again, another short chapter. What's wrong with me?

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