Rewrite the Stars (bxb)

Chapter 10 Body Swap Part 1

I can feel the tension in the house. Everyone's worried about Peter and whether he'll be alright or not.

I can also see the guilt on Sam and Dev's faces. They think that what happened to Peter was their fault, but it wasn't. It was mine. I could've stopped him from tumbling down the stairs if I had just grabbed onto the both of them. But I missed Peter, and this is what happened because of it.

After it happened, Jax disappeared off to his room and hasn't come out since.

I stand outside his room with a plate of food in my hands. It's only a little bit because nobody felt like eating until Peter was back, but it's more than nothing.

I gently knock. "Jax?"

No answer.

"I have some food for you. Can I come in?"

Still no answer.

"That's okay. I'll put the food outside your door. You can come get it whenever you want." I hesitate. "And if you need to talk to someone, I'm here. What happened to Peter wasn't your fault." I wait, hoping he comes to talk to me. It's not healthy to keep all your emotions bottled up.

The door cracks open, and I hear shuffling inside.

"Jax?" I move the door open with my other hand and step inside his dark room. I see a lump on the bed and head over, placing the food on his nightstand before sitting on the bed. I place a hand on his back. "It wasn't your fault what happened to Peter," I tell him again, this time firmer.

"Yes, it was," he says, his words muffled by the blanket pressed against his face.

"No, it wasn't," I say again. "I'm the one who let him fall. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. Please don't put this on yourself."

He finally sits up and looks at me, but his face is one of bewilderment. "What the fuck are you on?"

His word choice and tone of voice surprises me, and my eyes widen in shock. "Um."

"How is any of this your fault?" His eyes are blazing. "Don't you dare put this on yourself. I was the one fighting with him, and I was the one who didn't notice how close we had gotten to the stairs. If I hadn't started the fight, then Peter wouldn't have gotten hurt. I should be the one with the guilty conscience."

"But if I had managed to grab him, then he wouldn't have gotten hurt either," I say quietly, noticing how loud his voice has gotten.

He looks at me, and I look at him, the both of us realizing that the other isn't backing down. We're both gonna hold this guilt over our heads, and there's nothing the other person can do to change that.

He sighs. "Come here." He lays back down and lifts up the blankets.

I hesitantly crawl under them and lay down next to him, making sure to give him space.

He pulls me closer to him and closes his eyes. "If we're both going to feel guilty about what happened, let's be guilty together."

I sink into the bed, grabbing onto his shirt and closing my eyes too. I breathe deeply when I finally notice how everything smells like Jax.

I think I can live with that.

.~:*:~.

I hear the garage door opening, and my eyes pop open. I try climbing out of bed, but Jax's arm holds me to him. "Stay," he whispers, still half asleep.

I lay there, thinking about whether I should stay with him or go check on Peter, when I hear their quiet voices in the hall.

It's so quiet that I can't hear what they're saying, but I can tell that everything's okay, so I lay back down where I was and stare at the bedroom door. I hear them go into Orion's room and the door closes and then silence.