𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔 • yeonbin & taegyu ✓

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°•𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 • depression, suicidal tendencies, mention of panic attacks, mental illness•°

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𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗 a month of the five living in the community, things seemed to be going well, seemed. yeonjun was lazily seaten on a chair in their kitchen, beomgyu on a chair in the other side of the table, both not saying a word, but in comfortable silence.

during the last weeks the long haired started to make company to yeonjun's sleepless nights, simply because he couldn't sleep too. they would just sit or look through the window, usually in silence but sometimes they would share a few words. it surprisingly got them to be closer, specially when beomgyu knew that the older didn't trust anyone, and so would be ready if something happened, which made him like to be in the black haired's presence, it was the closest thing to feeling safe when taehyun wasn't around.

in the beginning, yeonjun got annoyed by the male's presence, still thinking he didn't deserve soobin because of what he did, but after some days he grew used to it. having some sort of sympathy towards the long haired for sure helped, the oldest didn't like feeling it but he couldn't control, not when they were having nightmares about somewhat similar things caused by the same group.

yeonjun averted his eyes to the door when it was quickly opened, taehyun coming inside in a rushed way and stopping in front of the black haired, who looked at him boringly.

"jun, we need to get the guns we hid before coming here." he bent down, putting his hands flat on the table and looking at the oldest. "we're having some problems and the guns are necessary."

"no."

"what the fuck do you mean by no?" the shortest scoffed, feeling quite incredulous.

"you're not getting them." yeonjun said lazily, not fazed by the younger's harsh tone.

"we fucking need them, yeonjun!" the said male shrugged, seeing beomgyu flinch a little by taehyun's raised voice. "i'm getting them with you agreeing or not."

"good luck on that." the black haired scoffed, slighly smirking.

"what does that mean?! what did you do?!"

"you seem to trust these people so much and i knew it would be a matter of time for you to want the guns, and i know you taehyun, you're quite stubborn, so it was obvious you would get them even if i didn't agree with it. so i moved them, to a place only i know were it is and you wouldn't be able to get them." yeonjun tilted his head slightly, too bad he had to tell the male one of the things he did, taehyun wouldn't like it at all.

"fuck, yeonjun!" taehyun hit his hands on the table and got up, starting to walk in a circle while rubbing his forehead. beomgyu jumped on his chair with the loud noise and hugged himself, feeling small. "why are you so fucking paranoiac!"

"first, lower you tone." the black haired said coldly, realizing the long haired got startled, to who he sent a look, silently saying it was okay. "now, i will ignore the last part, but watch your fucking words. i won't give you the guns, so you can turn around and go back to that administration building that you seem to like so much."

before taehyun could answer, yeonjun got up, signalizing to beomgyu to come with him, who did as said, both stepping out of the kitchen after. the oldest patted the long haired on the head before leaving the male on his room and going outside the house.

beomgyu closed the door and sat on his bed silently, staring at the wall. he missed taehyun. the male had been so caught up on the community's things that he barely was in the house. beomgyu understood though, the shortest was only doing it for their sake, he supported taehyun, reason why he ignored how uneasy he felt without his boyfriend close, or how he got panic attacks sometimes, which he made sure no one knew.

the long haired always thought the same thing, it was nothing much, he was just overreacting. taehyun was doing his best and he needed to support him and not be selfish like people insisted to point out he was, he wanted to be a better boyfriend and not a bigger problem. so it was drama, only drama and he needed to stop.

he couldn't sleep because of nightmares, but it was okay. he felt numb and tired, but it was okay. he wanted to die, but it was okay. he sometimes couldn't breathe, but it was okay. he never felt safe, but it was okay. it was just drama, it was him making too much out of small things, he didn't want to cause a scene and hurt someone like when he did with soobin, so he would just hide.

beomgyu blinked when hearing the door, getting out of whatever trance he was in. he looked at taehyun, who sighed and kissed him on the temple, locking himself in the bathroom after. minutes later, the shortest came out of the bathroom and changed into new clothes.

"i have to go, butterfly. i love you." he pecked the older lips, and left, closing the door behind him.

"i love you too." beomgyu whispered, turning around and laying on the bed. he didn't have to go to the clinic in that day, so he would sleep, which was something he always tried to do when he could, hoping to not have nightmares and wake up less tired. when he managed to actually sleep though, he never felt better.

beomgyu closed his eyes, wanting so bad to sleep, so he could be unconscious for a couple of hours, but his mind got filled with a specific man's face and his psychotic smile, the pain and the metallic taste on his tongue. he opened his eyes, breathing heavily and feeling tears on his face, he hated himself. why was he doing so much out of nothing?

the long haired cleaned his face with the hem of his hoodie, staring at his trembling hands after. he blinked, sitting on the bed and hugging his knees, he would just wait for taehyun to come back so he could feel safer and try to sleep again. he just needed taehyun.

beomgyu just needed his eternity and he would be okay.

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