Lovers Lessons

Chapter 3

Azia

As soon as I got home i'd sat down on my couch, my thick white blanket in hand, and i'd wrapped myself in it like a burrito as I just sat there and thought about some sort of plan.

What the hell was I going to do now?

I needed money.

I had a flat to pay rent for, I had my mouth to feed, I had siblings to send money over to all the way back in Boston for their own necessities and well, living had a cost.

I couldn't be broke for any longer than a few days. Because when I was broke, I was really damn broke, like sleazy car at a sketchy looking garage shop downtown with an owner who always had a toothpick in their mouth that consisted of beer stained teeth and some missing, broke.

After having a silent mental breakdown to myself that lasted exactly fourteen minutes, and twenty seven seconds- lying, I don't know how long i'd been sitting on the couch like a mess but I think it was probably fifteen minutes, tops, because I often did this.

When I got overwhelmed, I just stopped, letting my mind go blank, embracing the mess, and I stop.

Now that I unstopped I get my phone off of my coffee table and call the first person I can think of, my co-worker slash friend slash work mom.

Carolyn.

"Oh sugar plum." Is the first words Carolyn hits me with, her southern accent thick and comforting in this moment of heavy turmoil and I bask myself in it.

"So you already know, huh?"

"Of course I know, its kind of obvious since you're not in here Azia." She says, definitely shaking her head and I do to, imagining her red fiery curls that she left out of a hairnet moving with every word that left her mouth.

I sigh to myself, getting up from the couch to water my plants since I hadn't gotten the chance to do it this morning, "How're you on call with me right now?"

"Outside, smoking break."

"Smoking is bad for you." I mock a scolding tone, but soon after she coughs, a throaty sound, almost pained, just as well proving my point. "Dont worry about me doll, forty eight and still going strong, now tell me where're you going to work now?"

I fill my water can up with water as I stand there, leaning against the kitchen counter, tapping my foot on the wooden floors, still in my waitress outfit just without the stupid much too tight white ballet flats that I will probably throw away now. I hated it. Actually, despised is more fitting.

"I could try selling some prints of the pictures I take but that won't get me too far." I say, part of me wondering where my earphones were since I don't remember taking them along with me.

Thats how you know I was in a rush, since I took my earphones with me just about everywhere but here I was with nothing in my ear.

"It will buy you some time though." She says, ever the encouraging mother figure I needed in times like this and I nod to myself, knowing part of her words were correct, but were also just for comfort so I don't have a complete mental breakdown at this very moment.

The sitting on the couch and staring at the wall without doing anything else is just the beginning of the end really.

"I'll look for some work ads online and i'll let you know how it goes." I tell her in which she hums on the other end and I know shes probably thinking about something from how long she takes to respond back to me.

But honestly, I needed a moment to think as well, again.

This time was to actually think because the first time I took a moment, I was absolutely not thinking, I just had been thoughtless and staring at the wall like I usually did, especially after showering.

Sitting in my towel, staring at the wall, part of me thinking and preparing for the day to come but the other part was just there, aimlessly thinking about nothing.

I did that a lot. Sometimes I think i'm an empty vessel, but not in a depressed way, more of in a clueless mindlessly making my way through life, way.

"Maybe you should look around too, like, physically look around." She advises me and I nod to myself, knowing that maybe i'd have luck with another café around somewhere.

You didn't need much qualifications to work at a waitressing job which made it good for me, a waitress slash online college student trying to finish off her degree.

I just had this year, and then i'd be ready and set to get a job as a proper established photographer, so I just needed this one thing to work out got me.

"I'll check on you sometime sweet pea-"

"Oh yeah, yeah of course yeah, bye Carolyn." I say, quickly realizing she actually had a job to get to and I needed to find one to get to as well.

We end the call on a good note and I realize i'd left a now overflowing watering can in my sink- which was also overflowing onto my floor due to the huge bottom of the can being placed over the drain.

"Fuck." I hiss, putting my phone down on the counter and turning the tap off before I run over to my bedroom, looking for an old towel I could put on the floor to soak up the water spill.

I get an oddly colored one that was most definitely white but had gone through a lot of life events to have turned a odd whiteish, beige color.

I put it down on the floor, thankfully not having been soaked wet, just a puddle that will be cleaned up in no time- okay not at all no time, but I really needed a win today.

So I convinced myself it wasn't much water.

I grab the water can and walk over to the plants, stroking each one, sifting the soil in silence since I still had no idea where my earphones were.

Usually whenever I watered my plants I had my earphones in and would walk the entire house, taking care of each plant as if it were my children as I sang softly to myself, probably even taking better care of the greenery than my siblings who I now made a mental note to check on once again, maybe later today when they had been done with all their classes of course.

Hopefully i'd get some peace of mind from talking to them, but knowing Theo, I probably would receive no peace, at all.

After walking through my flat, having watered every single plant- I have about sixteen, maybe twenty, and yes, I was probably a plant lady but I didn't care, for some reason they gave me purpose, something to always wake up for and continue the day.

I loved them.

And the greener they were, the more at ease I was.

But anyway, after I was done with all of that I finally went to my room and took my laptop from the bottom of my bed, one cupboard beneath it, and my laptop in it.

And then i'd opened it and started my hunt, sending a silent prayer to the man upstairs, hoping that I at least get one good job opportunity.

Just one.