Her Mafia Brothers

Rocco in Charge Part Three

I haven't been lying there very long when I hear footsteps come into my room. My bed dips as Rocco sits down beside me and he runs his fingers up and down my spine.

"Come on Carrie, you're all right," he says softly. He sounds sad. He doesn't say anything else, he just sits there beside me, rubbing my back and waiting for my sobs to ease.

Eventually, they do. I hiccup and sit up, still clutching my teddy, and Rocco guides me to sit on his lap. I bury my face in his shoulder. He's changed out of his leather jacket now and is just wearing a t-shirt and he's much more comfortable to cuddle.

He touches my teddy's ear.

"I'm glad you've still got him," he says, but I can tell he's not really talking to me, he's reminiscing about happier times, when I was little and we were a family. I guess we're still a family, but it's different now, because now, I'm broken. I never used to be broken. Now I can't see myself ever being anything else.

"Why did you hide from me?" Rocco asked. He didn't sound mad, just curious.

"I was scared."

"Of me? But why?" Although he tried to hide it, I could tell he was upset at that.

I shook my head. "Not of you. Not really. Just in general."

"But why, Carrie? Help me understand. Because the thing is, you weren't in trouble. I've talked to Damon and he agrees that the lines from the Principal are punishment enough. We all had that teacher and she's a bitch. Damon is going to get you shifted out of that class next week."

I looked at the floor.

"Oh." I felt really stupid now. "Well I didn't know that, did I?"

"You did, Carrie, because I told you."

Rocco put his hand under my chin and tilted my face up gently. "Look at me. I told you that you weren't in trouble, yet you still hid. Why did you do that? Do you have any idea of how close to panic I was? I couldn't find you, and anything could have happened. Somebody could have taken you, you could have run away..... Right now we have no security, so literally anything could have happened to you, sis. I was frantic."

I shrugged.

"I didn't believe you, I guess. Back.. Before.... They used to trick me. Tell me it was safe. But it wasn't, Rocco, it wasn't!"

My heart twists in pain like a knife stabbing me and I cry wretchedly at the awful memories. The promise that I was safe. He was gone. I wasn't in trouble. So, like the innocent, trusting little girl I was, I came out of my hiding place, believing in the person who was meant to love me, meant to keep me safe. And they led me like a lamb to the slaughter. I wasn't safe, like they promised I was. They were waiting in the wings, right there, ready to hurt me. They preyed on my innocence, took advantage of my trusting nature.

Never again would I let anyone do that to me. I'm not innocent any more; that was stolen from me. And I'm no longer trusting. I would never trust anyone like that again.

I hadn't meant to say those words out loud but I clearly did, because Rocco is crying too, and he's lifting me up, turning me around, pressing me against him, holding me tight.

"I'm so sorry Carrie, I didn't know," he tells me, his rough voice now even rougher than usual, choked and raw. "But we will never do that to you. Never! You can trust us, I promise. We're your brothers. We will kill for you and die for you."

His emotion-filled words make me cry even more and I bury my face into his shoulder, wrapping my arms tight around his neck, my tears wetting his shirt.