In The Name Of Family

Ch 19- Only if

Andrea Buffet

On my lap was placed the head of Miles who had already fallen asleep for a long time. As soon as we got home Aiden kept his promise and different types of pizza were delivered at our home.

Our home.
Saying this again feels strange, but today we felt it like that. Although the TV was still on, no one was really looking at it as the two boys next to me had been already fallen asleep since a long time.

Although I did not want to disturb his sleep I could not let him sleep so badly there, so someone had to be sacrificed and my eyes were immediately thrown to Aiden with a cunning smile. At first I whispered his name lightly, but he sleeps worse than an elephant and then I threw a pillow in his face which made him get up immediately, scared.

"What, what happened?" he spoke as he was ready to attack someone, but his eyes still not opened. If I didn't hate him I could think he was cute like that.

Concentrate Andrea!
"Shhhhhh you are going to wake Miles." I say as i put my finger in front of my lips signaling him to lower his voice.

He glanced at the young boy who was sleeping peacefully in my lap and smiled lightly as he got up from where he was sitting.

"I will send him to the room. Can you open the door?" He took him in his arms and started to go upstairs as I followed them from behind.

As I climbed each of those stairs my heart was beating even faster. If things had gone differently, if he had not given up on us, perhaps only then this would have been what we would always had. A happy family. Him, I and a lot of children.

I had not understood, but my eyes were already filled with tears until I heard his voice calling me and I realized that we were now in front of Miles room.

"Hey. We are here, open the door." He whispered and i turned my head on the other side for him to not see me as i opened the door.

He put Miles to bed and whispered good night. Meanwhile I approached him and kissed him on the forehead and threw him a blanket. Then we both left for our room. Although this was not the first night I slept with him in the same room, I still felt something in my stomach every time he got near.

Like every other night the situation was awkward, everyone was lying on their side and when the lights went out no sound was heard in the room.

As the only light I could distinguish was that of the window from where a few strands of the moonlight fell, I could feel his frequent movements across the bed as he turned from side to side.

It was like that for some minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted sleep and his movements weren't allowing me to do so.

"Can you fucking stop moving!?" I said more like I screamed as i got up from the position I was.

"Language little bunny. This is my part of the bed and I do whatever I want. " he said as he got up and started to jump a little on the bad. He is doing this on propose.

"Stop it." I again spoke, but he still didn't listen and continued jumping like a kid.

"Oh is that so?" I got out of bed and went to the toilet as he was looking at me with a confused look . I took a bucket of water and headed towards it. At first he thought I would throw it at him and got out of bed running to the corner of the room away from me.
Nice at least he's scared.
I had a devilish smile on my lips as he finally understand what I was going to do. I threw the water on the bed. Now he can sleep in his part of the bed.

Andrea: 2 Aiden:0

His eyes widened in shock and he placed his hands on his head." What the fuck did you do?"

"Language big bunny ." I said as i got on my part of bed and turned the light off. Which I didn't wet. I'm genius!
"Good night." And then i threw the blanket on my body feeling warm as I closed my eyes.

For a few minutes it was silence and to be honest now I feel scared, when suddenly I felt two big arms lift me up and throw me on the couch as I looked up to see him throw water on my part of the bed.

"Now you can sleep. The bed is all yours. "he said as he took some blankets and headed to the door.

Andrea:2 Aiden:1 (Fuck!)

"Wait! Were are you going?" I asked surprised because there are no more rooms in the house and the couch was to small to even take a person. I did not want to break my bones in it. So I decided to go to Miles room.

"I'm going to sleep in Miles room. His bed is big enough for two. " Fear was all i felt in those moments. I couldn't let this happen.

"No. I'm going to sleep there. He's my brother." I said determined.

"I don't care this is my house." He opened the door. "Beside that i decided first. " he was about to get out, but i stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

"NO!!" i screamed "You will wake him."

"Shhh you are going to wake him screaming like a pig. I will go without making noise ." he put his hand on my lips and got even closer as his blankets fell into the floor.

My heart started pounding like crazy. Stop you stupid.

He looked with his pricing hazel eyes into mine and my stomach started to feel butterfly. Just like the first time when he grabbed me by the wall in high-school.

I missed his touch. God knows how much, but I should control myself, our feelings are not required.

After a few seconds he let go of me and no one spoke a word. He turned to the other side and in an awkward manner put his hands on his neck, rubbing it a few times.

I was sure he was disgusted by the way he touched me. He had made it clear years ago that he wanted nothing to do with me and a few nights ago as well.

"I'm going to sleep in the living room and I will come to the room early in morning. So Miles won't suspect a thing." He said as he took the blankets on the floor and walked away.

Then, when he was at the stairs he spoke:- "Tomorrow night we will have a dinner to welcome Hazel. Your invited. Wear something worthy of being introduced for the first time as my wife."

He sympathised the word my wife, as if I were dying to be. What does he think he is?

Of course I will dress nicely. Wait until your mouth opens wide when you see me and a mosquito enters on it. I wish it happens.

I stuck my tongue out at him and went back into the room slamming the door. Well, just a little bit because I did not want the noise to be heard at Miles room.

As soon as I entered the room I lay down on the sofa and even though I had my legs out of it I tried to close my eyes.

As much as I wanted to move, the space was small. Even the thoughts had become a barrier between me and sleep as my mind went to the memories of his touch.

My eyes began to water as the words written on that letter fifteen years ago flashed through my mind.

Things could have been different if I had not fallen in love, and the worst part is that I still kept waiting. But he never came. He will never come.

I did not just condemn myself in this life, but I couldn’t protect Miles from it and now it is becoming harder to get him away from what he is beginning to call home.