Choices (Book Four)

Chapter 31

Lyla

I wake up to one hell of a hangover. I'm not going to miss the college party hangovers that's for sure. I groan aloud as I sit up in bed slowly, tilting my neck side to side to try and stretch it out. I glance around my room as my mind wanders back to last night and I suddenly remember Shawn was with me. I glance at the bed and it's empty beside me. I lift my sheets and see I'm still wearing the sundress from last night. I'm being a bit of absurd because I know for a fact I would remember if we slept together, but I'm a bit hazy still as I rack my brain.

I remember dinner, the party, Shawn's smile, shots, Shawn's eyes, the keg stands, Shawn's hands, the stumbling, Shawn's lips. Holy shit I kissed him last night. And he had stopped me. 'Tell me again in the morning and I will kiss you'. His words play over in my mind. Holy shit. My hands fly up to my face as I bury it into them and groan again in embarrassment for how wasted I must have been last night and making a fool of myself. I hear my door open and look up to see Shawn walk in with a smile when he sees me sitting on my bed.

"Morning sleepyhead," he greets me with his damn sexy smirk. "I went out and got coffee and some cinnamon buns."

He walks into my room and places a coffee beside me on the table and the tray of cinnamon buns on the bed before sitting on the edge down beside my legs.

"Thanks Shawn you didn't have to do that," I reply as I reach for my cup coffee.

"No problem at all."

We both sip our coffees and I immediately go for a cinnamon bun, unable to resist the smell of them. I take a huge bite and the gooey glorious goodness causes me to moan loudly as my eyes close. Fuck this is good. When I open my eyes again, Shawn is looking at me with a heat in his eyes I used to see on a daily basis. I feel myself blush when I realize my moaning over baked goods was probably the cause. I look down at the comforter on the bed between us. Shawn clears his throat a moment later and I look up at him.

"I really want to hang out longer, but I was supposed to drive back to Telford with Bails last night and now it's already noon and we still need to carry down all her crap from her room then drive home-"

"Oh God Shawn," I start as I cut him off. "I'm so sorry I dragged you to that party, you should have told me you needed to leave. I wouldn't have asked you to stay if I knew Bailey was waiting," I tell him suddenly feeling guilty for holding him and Bailey up.

"Don't even worry, I wanted to stay, I'm glad you asked," he replies sweetly.

We fall into a silence as we both sit on my bed, waiting for the other person to make the next move or say something.

"But I better get going or Bailey is going to have my ass," he chuckles softly.

"Yeah I wouldn't want to get on her bad side," I joke back.

Shawn chuckles and I watch his eyes drop down to my lips. He slowly reaches his hand out as his thumb lightly brushes over my bottom lip, wiping some icing from my mouth I didn't even know was there. I'm holding my breath as I stare up at him, my gaze flickering between his eyes and lips. We both are locked in our gaze, his hand remaining on my chin, frozen in place. All I have to do is tell him I want to kiss him and his lips will be on mine. It's simple, he said so himself yet I can't get the words out no matter how badly I want to right now. I'm leaving tomorrow for Africa and I can't do this to us again, to him again.

I clear my throat and Shawn snaps back to reality, his hand dropping from my face and I catch him blushing slightly as he stands from the bed

"Well, it was really good to see you Lyla," Shawn says as he stands by the foot of my bed.

I stand up and walk towards him, wrapping my arms around him in a hug.

"You too," I say softly into his chest.

I press myself against him, trying to lock this feeling into my memory along with the hundreds of others I have of him. I don't want to let him go, I wish I could make this hug last an eternity, but I feel his arms loosen from around me and I begrudgingly let him go. Truth is our hug could have lasted an eternity and it wouldn't have been long enough still. He smiles down at me softly, his hand reaching out and brushing a strand of hair from my face as he tucks it behind my ear.

"Don't be a stranger," he whispers.

"Right back at you."

"Be safe on your trip," he pleads softly.

"I will promise," I reply. "No lion chasing for me," I add with a small laugh trying to lighten the mood and Shawn smiles in light amusement.

"Seriously though, be careful. And stay in touch," he requests.

"Pen pals?" I joke playfully.

"I would be honored to be your pen pal Lyla Robertson."

There's a twinkle in his eyes that makes me swoon as I look up at him. I have no doubt this summer will be filled with numerous exchanged emails. He turns and starts to walk out of my room, pausing at the door and turning back to face me again. He looks like he's about to say something as his mouth opens slightly. I involuntarily lean in towards him waiting for the words, but his mouth closes and he nods his head, smiling at me once more before he leaves my room closing the door behind him. I hear the apartment door shut a moment later and I flop back onto my bed, burying my head into my pillow as I groan loudly, silently cursing myself for not kissing him.

Why hadn't I? What was I so afraid of? My only excuse I was hiding behind was that I was leaving for the whole summer, but so what? He had told me last night that all I needed to do was ask him and his lips would have been on mine. There didn't have to have some big meaning behind it. It didn't need to mean we were getting back together or we had to figure everything out today about what this meant for us. It would have been an amazing kiss. An incredible a kiss. A kiss that we both wanted. I could feel the energy between us when we sat on my bed a few minutes ago and knew that he was as eager to taste my lips as I was his. Yet I chickened out. I gave a lame excuse to myself in order to reason why it couldn't happen when there really was nothing stopping either of us.