Without Hesitation

Chapter 12

Elle's heart stopped as she stared at Avery, who somehow willingly hopped on a plane and managed to arrive to be with Elle in under twelve hours. Her knees started to crumble, and Avery wrapped her in a tight, familiar hug before Elle could hit the ground. The sobs began to explode from inside her after lying dormant for the last couple of hours, and she buried her face in Avery's neck, allowing the scent of vanilla and tobacco to calm her senses.

Avery dropped her bags and brought her hand up to Elle's hair, brushing her hands down in soft-even strokes. "Shh, Elle, I'm here. I'm here."

Elle pressed her lips to Avery's neck, grateful that she didn't say that things are okay because they weren't. Avery was here and things were a bit better, but they were not okay in the slightest. They stood there, Avery holding Elle up, long enough for Elle's tears to form into crusted rivers down the sides of her cheeks before Elle began to retreat. She paused, looking into Avery's eyes, wanting to express her thanks and her sadness and her sheer lack of belief that Avery would do this for her, but didn't know how. Avery just nodded in return and kissed her softly on the forehead, before grabbing Elle's hand and leading her to the couch.

"I see you liked your dinner," Avery said with a cautious smile, looking down at the remnants of the pad see ew that Elle barely remembered eating.

"Of course. Did you know you got me my favorite food?"

Avery looked down at her beat up Nikes and nodded. "Yeah, you mentioned it one night in Bend."

Elle shook her head; the weight of Avery being here crashing down on her at once. "Avery, I'm so sorry I asked you to come here. I can pay you back for your flight."

Avery looked up and tucked a strand of Elle's hair behind her ears. "No, not at all. I don't want you to pay a cent." She put a hand on Elle's shin, slightly caressing Elle's skin with her thumb. "I wouldn't have come if I didn't want to. Regardless of who we are together, I would have done this for any friend."

Elle nodded; a tear of gratitude laced with sadness at the situation gliding down her cheek.

Avery cocked her head to the left. "Do you want to tell me about what's happening?"

Elle sucked in a breath. She didn't really want to say anything, but Avery had come all the way out here without knowing anything. She felt like she owed her some answers.

"Uh, yeah I can tell you." Elle adjusted, scooting a bit closer to Avery, sitting cross-legged in front of her. Avery rested her hands on Elle's hips, grounding her. She took a slow deep breath and recounted the conversation that she had with Rachel the night before. Avery listened intently, nodding, and shaking her head without ever interrupting.

Avery paused when Elle finished, taking in the news. She looked into Elle's eyes and pressed her forehead against Elle's, causing all the tension that built up in Elle's shoulders and back to release. There was something so comforting, so simple about that gesture that gave Elle a pause from the situation at hand, which she needed more than anything. Avery pulled back. "I'm so sorry to hear about that Elle."

The genuine pain in Avery's voice brought back the tears, and Elle began softly crying next to her. "Do you want to know the shittiest part?" Elle began. "I hate that I'm sad about this. He wouldn't give a shit if I lived or died. He said so himself. He hasn't checked in, or called, or even asked around about me. He doesn't care about me in the slightest, so why am I sad? I already lost him; this shouldn't change anything." Elle could feel rage building inside of her.

"But it fucking does. I can't imagine having cancer, but he told the whole family not to tell me. Did he even think once about how this would affect me? No part of me believes he does, yet I'm sitting here only thinking about how he must be so fucking scared right now and all I want to do is go back in time and never told them who I was so I can be there for him while he is dealing with all this bullshit."