Without Hesitation

Chapter 14

It was as if the entire house was put on pause. To Elle, not a single soul shifted as the chime of the bell rang through the modest house. Elle thought of running for it, no one would know the wiser. She could dash down the stairs, escape into her car, and ride off into the sunset with Avery and it would be like she never even made this ill-advised trip. But before she could do anything, a blurry figure appeared in the window and the door opened seconds after.

Rachel, Elle's cousin was standing there, eyes wide open, in her parent's doorway. Rachel kept looking back behind her as she greeted Elle. "Elle? What are you doing here?"

"Rachel, hey," Elle said cautiously, looking behind Rachel at the living room where her very large and conservative Uncle Mike, her father's brother, and Rachel's dad, was shooting daggers at her through squinted eyes, surrounded by the family that cast her out. "After you called, I decided that I needed to come here to see my dad. So, I'm here," she laughed anxiously.

Rachel blanched. "Oh, Elle..."

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Uncle Mike bellowed with a croaky voice as he stomped to the door. He was still shooting daggers at Elle, but she could tell now that he was closer that his eyes weren't squinted, they were puffy and swollen shut.

"Dad," Rachel cautioned.

"Hi, Uncle Mike. I'm just here to see my dad," Elle replied gently.

"How the hell did you even know about that, huh?" he spat back at her. Elle shot a glance to Rachel, who was looking down at her feet underneath her curly bangs. For the first time, Elle noticed that her face was a bit puffy as well. "Of all the days to pull this shit, your father made it clear that you didn't belong here."

Elle inhaled slowly, trying to keep herself calm. "Look, all I want is to ask him that myself. I know he is sick, but I deserve to see him at least once more, okay?"

Uncle Mike's face contorted with rage. "Well, that's not going to fucking happen," he screamed, but his voice broke on the last syllable. Elle was ready to respond right back but her uncle had turned away from her, his back shaking with sobs, before walking back into the other room into the arms of his wife. The thing that Elle thought was a pit in her stomach grew, to the point where it felt like she was just a gaping hole of nothingness as she realized she may be in the one situation she never considered.

"Rachel," she paused before continuing, her voice measured and tight. "Where is my dad?"

Her cousin covered her mouth with one hand before reaching to her. "Elle..."

"No," Elle said, her voice catching before she could continue. She took a step back. "Rachel, tell me where my dad is and what is going on."

Rachel started to cry, with soft tears creating new indents through her foundation. "Elle, I'm so sorry." She took a shaky breath, causing Elle's anxiety to shake with it. "Your father passed away this morning."

"No, that... no," Elle said, backing away further and shaking her head. Hot tears began to prick the corners of her eyes and she blinked furiously. It couldn't be real. She came all that way, there was no way that the universe would be that cruel to not even give her the chance to see her father one last time. It couldn't have happened. She felt her foot slip on the porch stair behind her and she lost her balance, catching herself on the railing, just like she did every time she chased down those steps after her father as a child.

"Elle," Rachel said, her voice thick with sadness and pity. "I can take you to a hotel or something, but I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be here right now." 

Elle shot her eyes up, not believing what she was hearing for a second. Of course, her family wouldn't want her in there. But it wasn't fucking fair. She deserved to be able to mourn, she deserved to be able to be with her family and not have to deal with this alone. She started to rebut and walk back towards the door to push her way in, when her eyes fixated on the woman down the hall over Rachel's shoulder. Her mother.