POV: I'm indecisive

BOOK XI

Someone once said, 'Your won't know your goal in life until you find something worth reaching for' and I'll live by that until I die. Every night I reach for the bottle so I can fulfil my goal in life of drinking until the alcohol starts tasting like Calpol. In other words, makes you feel like you're in heaven mixed with Deja Vu.

'There she is' Antonio Garcia smirks as Natalia walks into the private room, 'the one and only Ms De Luca, I've heard so much about you'.

'Hasn't everyone?' Natalia laughs whilst walking up to him.

Antonio pulls her towards him and desperately connects their lips, craving her like a drug. The kiss is rough and as soon as he proves he's in control, he pushes her down onto the booth and pins her against the cold cushion. Before anything more can happen a continuous vibration comes from his trouser pocket, he leans back and pulls out his phone with a sigh.

'I need to take this' he mumbles and walks out the room without another word.

Natalia scoffs whilst pulling herself up from the booth and observing the room.

'¿Este tipo es serio?' She asks rhetorically.
'Is this guy serious?'.

Her eyes come across a small glass of whiskey which Antonio left on the table, she doesn't think twice in taking the whole thing. She pours herself one after another during the time he is out of the room until it begins to hit her head. A small smile spreads across her face at the feeling.

Another vibration sounds throughout the room leading her eyes towards the pegs in the corner of the room where Antonio's jacket is hung. Natalia stumbles over to the pegs and rummages through his jacket until she pulls out a phone. The screen lights up, her eyes trail across the five recent messages on his Lock Screen.

-'Natalia De Luca? She puts the Eazy in Sleazy'-

-'Hey you forgot your shirt at my place x'-

-'Your business meeting is set for next Friday, early morning flight so you best come stay over Thursday night'-

-'Heard you're trying to pull Virgin Mary. If only god could pull a miracle haha I'm here if you need me ;)'-

-'Anton! I know you're hiding from me, this child support ain't gonna pay itself'-

There is a downside to drinking until you can't feel anything. The feeling is like you're on cloud 9 but there's a very thin line in this world between heaven and hell. Only one drink could tip you over the edge into feeling too much. Here is a girl who has no stability whatsoever and no way of knowing right from wrong. A girl who needed to be saved so she fell right into the arms of a beast. Let me rephrase that, right into the arms of Gaston.

Natalia steps back from the pegs, the heel on her shoe causes her ankle to give way and she falls down to the ground but not before grabbing onto Antonio's jacket for support. The material holding it to the peg snaps and falls down with her. His pockets now emptied onto the floor, she looks around helplessly until her eyes land on a certain black item. Antonio Garcia's black card.

The only thing this guy loves more than himself if his money. She doesn't think twice about picking it up from the ground and walking back over to the table. Natalia grabs the bottle of whiskey and stumbles out of the room's emergency exit before Antonio comes back.

The night air is cold and dark, she takes a drink from the bottle hoping it'll somehow warm her up. To any sober person a bus stop would seem like a faster way to die of hyperthermia but to Natalia it looks like an inviting home. She sighs as she slides down the corner of the glass and leans her chin on top of her knees.

'When did it all go wrong?' An elderly voice comes from the shadows.

'When my family decided to move away to this cold country' Natalia sighs.

'Where did they move away from?' The voice asks.

'Spain' she smiles at the memories.

'Would you ever go back there?' The voice asks another question.

'Of course' Natalia slurs, 'I mean I would if I have the money, I can't even afford to take a bus right now'.

'I see great things coming your way' the voice laughs.

'My high school therapist told me the exact same thing' she laughs bitterly, 'look at me now'.

'Greatness comes in waves, it's up to you to grab a board and ride the wave' the voice informs her.

Natalia furrows her eye brows, 'old people confuse me'.

'Darling I am neither old nor young' the voice chuckles.

'Oh so you're middle aged then' Natalia mumbles.

The voice's laugh fades away as a gust of wind blows a few fallen leaves down the empty street. Her eyes become mesmerised by watching the last leaf follow the others, moment by moment her eyes get heavier and heavier until the only thing she can see is darkness.