Frost and Ice

Emery

I can't get myself to talk to him. I don't know why but any time I think about him my nerves skyrocket and I get so tongue-tied. I keep replaying that moment in my head wondering what he was going to say. I hate that I put us there. I hate that I didn't do anything. I don't even know what I would do. 

"Emery, honey, what's wrong," Mom knocks on my door and I look up from my spot," What happened?"

I feel like crying when my mom looks at me like that. She walks across my room and crawls into my bed next to me," I think I messed something up with me and Jason."

"Oh honey, I'm sure that's not true," She pulls me into her arms like I'm a child and I sink into her. Her fingers run through my hair," What happened?" I shake my head not wanting to say the words," I can't help if you won't let me, honey."

I sit up after a moment and sigh," When we came up to my room last time he was here," I say that like she doesn't know what I'm talking about," We were teasing each other and he got up to leave," I take a deep breath," I pulled him back and he ended up landing back like he was caging me in, I guess... His hands were on either side of my head and neither one of us moved away from each other. He started to say something but was cut off when you called us to dinner."

Mom is quiet for a while," Okay... I don't see the problem. Nothing happened except for both of you panicked and froze in a situation that could have led to something more."

"Mom, he's my best friend," I groan into my hands," I feel so nervous and fidgety around him lately. I can't get myself to text him or talk to him because for the first time, I don't know what to say and I'm worried about what he thinks," My mom is quiet. Abnormally quiet and I look up to see her smirking," What?"

"You're a smart girl, Em, please think about this for a moment," She cups my cheek with a small smile," You realize your father is also my best friend."

My brain stalls before I realize what she's getting at," No! No, no, no... I don't like him. That's not- I've known him my whole life... that isn't... oh my god," My mom laughs. She actually laughs at the struggle I'm having," Mom!"

"I'm sorry," She holds her hand to her mouth," I'm sorry. You're right. This isn't funny," She tries controlling herself but starts laughing again. It ends up making me laugh with her," Oh honey," She pulls me into her again," I've never seen you stutter that bad the whole time you've been alive."

My face burns and I laugh again," He seems to have that effect on me."

"Did you know that his mother and I have had a running joke that you and Jason would fall in love one day?" She knows I didn't and I gape at her," Oh don't look at me like that! She's my best friend and you know it. Best friends have these jokes."

I laugh," No they don't!"

"But you wouldn't know that. You don't have any girlfriends," She teases me, poking at my sides, making me giggle," Talk to him. Not about feelings if you aren't ready, but talk to him. It'll hurt you both more if you don't."

I nod," Okay... Thank you, Mom."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Are we sharing feelings without me," My father makes both of us jump. He walks over to my bed and flops into the middle of us," I feel left out. So rude of you two."

Mom and I both laugh. He's a ridiculous man.

                                                                               ~A few days later~

"Emery Walker," I jump, almost dropping my books," Why have you been avoiding everyone?"

"Jesus, Aaron, don't do that," I hit him with my book," I'm not avoiding everyone."

"Bull," He points a finger at me," You don't come to lunch anymore, you haven't talked to us when we show up at the rink after your practice, and you haven't answered Jason's texts."

"I'm not avoiding you guys," I say again," ...I'm avoiding Jason."

He squints at me and I have to contain a laugh," Why?"

"Reasons..."

"Why, Emery? You're torturing the man. He's so sad and boring now. He won't hang out with any of us."

"I'll explain if you take me to get coffee," I'm suddenly exhausted," This is more a private conversation anyway."

"Fine," He hooks our arms together," Let's go. Walk and talk Em."

I roll my eyes but I fidget with my fingers as we make our way to his car," After you and Ace left that one day you came over, me and Jason went up to my room... oh don't give me that look! He's been in my room a million times... anyways, I had taken my hoodie off again and we were talking on my bed. We started teasing each other and he pretended like he was going to leave," I take a deep breath and Aaron doesn't say anything. He just waits," I pulled him back and he ended up hovering over me with his hands on either side of my head."

Aaron barks out a laugh," No way!"

"Let me finish," I flick his head," I didn't want him to move and neither one of us moved. I had looked at his lips for only a few seconds but his demeanor changed quickly when I looked back at him. He was going to say something but my mom called us to come eat before he could."

"Holy fuck! You two had like a complete rom-com movie moment," Aaron laughs at me and I resist the urge to strangle him," This is great."

"Aaron... Aaron I'm going to throttle you if you don't shut up," I hit his shoulder as his laugh brings more attention to us," Aaron, please. I'm begging you to shut up."

"I'm sorry," He finally stops laughing," Okay, serious time. Why are you avoiding him? I feel like that should be a good thing."

I shake my head," No, it's not. He's my best friend. Known him my whole life best friend. I shouldn't have feelings for him. Not when he doesn't look at me like that."

Aaron gapes at me," Are you blind? Do you have brain damage? I thought you were smart, Em. That man is so incredibly in love with you."

I laugh," No, he isn't. Don't joke like that."

"I'm not!"

"Don't."

Aaron runs a hand down his face," Fine. Let's go get you your coffee."