Three years go by and Rosie returns to Michigan, not to see her family, not to reminisce the past. She's back to get away from him, hoping, praying she can get away from him. She thought he was the one, the one who was better for her. Turns out he's...
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My leg bounces against the floor as i sit on the bed, a million thoughts running through my head at 100mph. I nibble on my nails trying to come to sense with what just happened.
Me and Ashton fucking kissed. On of my ex's best friends kissed me and I kissed him back. What the fuck was I thinking? I didn't think it through at all, I just dived into the deep end and now I'm afraid I'll drown because I don't know how to swim.
I love Ashton and I mean that, but I've never seen him in this light before. I've always seen him as a friend and that's all, I had no idea he might see me differently.
The guys amazing and honestly he deserves to find someone to love him and be his person, he's the kindest soul. I don't know what he sees in me exactly, I'm unhinged and broken. Why would he want anything with me.
I thought our friendship was strictly platonic, I've always thought that over the years and somehow all that has changed from one kiss. One steamy, passionate kiss.
I'm caught between a strong mind, and a fragile heart. With the rape, the abuse that I've been through, it's been terrifying to open up to someone in anything but a platonic way.
I've realised the rape will tear me in half but I won't end me, I will not let it stop me from doing things and feeling a type of way.
I just can't imagine me and Ashton being anything but platonic, I don't know whether that's because all I've ever seen him as is a friend and now that's completely changed.
I huff and stand up from my bed, I walk out of my room and bound right over to Nat's bedroom, she got back from work an hour ago and right now I need her advice on this shit show that is my life.
I barge into her room, and she jumps startled by my presence, she looks up from her desk stopping mid way through her make up. An eyebrow brush centimetres from her face.
"There's something called knocking, Rosie. Do it next time." She grumbles, putting her brush down. "I nearly had a brown line going across my forehead." She huffs.
She pushes back her chair and crosses her legs. I jump onto her bed and cross my legs placing my hands in my lap. "I need you advice, like right now." I blurt.
She peers up at me and rests her arms on the back of her chair, "Okay- go on." She waves her hand for me to continue.
I avoid eye contact with her and train my eyes on my hands trying to word this properly. "Erm, so." I cough clearing my throat. "Ikissedashton." I squeak, slapping my hands to my mouth.
"What?" Her eyebrows shoot up her forehead, her voice is flat. "Say it slower, Rosie. I don't speak alien." She rolls her eyes, leaning further into the chair.
Oh god. I really don't want to say it. "I kissed Ashton." I whisper. I cover my eyes with my hands not wanting to see her reaction, a couple minutes pass and I peek through my fingers at her.
Her mouth agape and her jaw is on the ground, I chew on my bottom lip waiting for her to respond. The anticipation is killing me. "I know. I know I fucked up." I jump to my feet and pace back and forth in her room.
She grabs my wrist and stop me from pacing, my eyes fall to hers and she sends me a small comforting smile. "Babe, why are you stressing so much? It's just a kiss, right?" She asks.
I shrug my shoulders, I gaze out of the window over the acres of land of trees at the back of the house, "I don't know." I breathe. "He's my friend, Nat. What was I thinking?" I emphasise the 'friends'.
She stands up and places her palms on my shoulders drawing my attention to her, "Look, it doesn't matter if your friends or not. You guys kissed, big fucking deal. Your single it shouldn't matter." She reasons, her sky blue eyes burning into mine.
She's making sense, I am single, I shouldn't be losing my mind over one kiss. Who cares if we kissed, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but for some reason Ezra crosses my mind.
"What about Ezra." My shoulders slump in defeat, if Ezra finds out I kissed Ashton, everything will blow. I don't want or need anymore problems right now.
She drops her hands from my shoulders and rolls her eyes. "Shut up, who cares about Ezra, you guys aren't together anymore. You can do whatever you want babe, don't let him stop you from doing what you want." She asserts.
This whole situation is making me lose my mind, I'm going insane just thinking about it. "Fuck me, I need a drink." I groan flopping onto the bed on my back.
"I'm going to call everyone, tell them to cancel any plans. We're going out tonight." Nat pipes, she slaps my leg twice and I hear her leaving the room and seconds later she's talking on the phone.
Going out and having a drink will be good for me, I need to take my mind off Ezra and this whole kiss with Ashton. It might be hard if they both show up but tonight I'm not going to think about them.
