Do I even want it?

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12 Nov 2023

Things that I kind of want :
1. To live in (insert particular suburb)
2. A therapist that isn't shit (my old one might be good or someone else)
3. A will to live (I mean really LIVE)

I also just want to be skinny again though which is synonymous to being unsure that I really want my life (I feel ungrateful, I'm so lucky).
But it's hard to want a life that feels so difficult all the time. Even when things are better.
I mean in reality it is easy - but the pain it causes inside of my brain manifests to the point of physical pain and I can no longer go on.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

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