Winter in May

~10~ Where the Wild Things Are...

"Now let the wild rumpus start!" Max ordered. And the wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws."
― Maurice Sendak, Where The Wild Things Are  

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While I am still showering outside under the garden hose, thanks to May. Meanwhile, inside the House of the Blazing Raisins, an entirely different kind of fun time is being had by the resident Queen of Mean.

"So explain to me how this works exactly, Irish? Because I am having a very difficult time finding a reason not to march up to that school. Yank that little sheethead out by the neck. Then string him up like his racist daddy should have been in the bad old days." Aces walks into his kitchen and fetches a cold water bottle out of the refrigerator, to cool down the demon queen that he was tricked into marriage with all those many years ago.

"Rest assured that is already in the works as we speak." Irish smiles coldly. "Mahjong."

"Do I even want to know the details?" Aces cross his arms at this bit of prophecy. 

"Here, read for yourself." Irish presents with him with the angry orange slip. She trades over the detention slip as she regally accepts the proffered water. Aces takes out his ancient Raisin reading shades, and peers intently down at the precise penmanship.

"Inappropriate contact with another student ...kissing?" Aces swipes his reading shades off and returns them back in his cool sky killer guy pocket case, before glaring down the barrel of a loaded grandson.

"Oh, wipe that judgmental look off your face, Aces." Irish snorts pulling the can of soup from the cupboard. "The whole damn thing was about as lurid as a goodbye kiss at an old church Sunday social with chaperones. Sure you might get a scolding for being forward for appearance's sake? But it usually came with a wink at the end."

"I see." Aces absorbs this disinformation cautiously. "Regardless, Tim Grimm is going to go through the roof. I know I would in his place, with a daughter who is ...especially vulnerable."

"Yes, he probably will, until the truth of today comes out." Irish wholeheartedly agrees. "But it gets even better, so hold on to your horses' Aces. Because this next part of this sordid story is going to throw you for a loop. So guess who is the kisser and who was the kissie, that earned those two this detention?"

"Based on your tone, I'm guessing it was ...?" Aces pauses and knifes an eyebrow up. "No, not the girl?"

"Am I that obvious to you now, Aces?" Irish snorts sarcastically. "Used to be that I could slide one past you every now and again."

"Maybe before the heart attack, but the nitro pills have helped my clarity some." Aces retorts wryly. "Now why the hell does that not surprise me as much as it should?"

"Yes, well...surprise?" Irish drones dryly. "So it turns out that at the end of the pledge of allegiance, the girl grabs our idiot grandson and planted one right on his lips. Claims she wanted him to taste the lip gloss he bought for her. Not that he was complaining, mind you. Oh, and by the way Ace, you can blame yourself for this entire mess."

"Now hold on a minute, Irish. How is any of this nonsense my fault?" Aces counters evenly.

"Because the pilot light for the water heater went out again in the morning?" Irish complains as she explains. "So the boy couldn't shower for school. And with May Bells acute sense of smell, she could hardly tolerate his stench. So he gave her some sweet smelling lip gloss, so she could tolerate him until he could shower after his PE class." Irish muses wanly. "Quite considerate of him actually, when you think about it. Who knew he had it in him?"