To Love And Be Loved

Chapter 42

The longing was abstract, she wanted something she knew she couldn't have, though the memory that came to her then was real; Victor placing his jacket on her wet shoulders the first day she'd entered his Jaguar. She had thought he was like some wild weed; prone to growing where he wasn't needed but too beautiful to be dug up.

"Cass?"

Suddenly, his words came back to her. "You wont get scarred," he had said. He had promised. Now, she was worse than scarred. How could you explain the pain of wanting something you couldn't have, shouldn't have, want to have and don't want to have all at a time?

"Cass?"

"Oh, you were saying?" asked Cass. Fatima was seated next to her on a metal chair in the departure area.

Fatima sighed. She tucked a loose fold of her purple veil on her back."You have to get him out of your mind, Cass. Like seriously."

I'm trying to, she wanted to say. Instead, she said, "I know, I know. Don't worry about me."

"Of course, I'll worry about you. That's my job as your best friend."

"You talk as if I'm a toddler or something," said Cass, swatting her arm playfully.

Suddenly, the flight announcer blared from speakers: This is the final boarding call for passengers booked on flight 245A to Plateau State. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately.

"I guess that's it. I'm going to miss you, Cass," said Fatima.

Cass stood up and hugged her. "Its for a couple of months. I'll be back just in time for the new semester."

"Are you ready, Cassandra?" asked her mother from behind her.

"Yes," said Cass, picking up her bag.

"Have a safe trip, ma," said Fatima.

"Oh, thank you, darling," said Cass' mother, giving Fatima a hug.

A few minutes later, Cass was seated a few seats behind the cockpit. The window beside her showed an unobstructed view of the plane wing and the black, glimmering tarmac. Her mother was in the seat next to her while Gabriel and Hanna were seated on the next row. Hanna was sporting an ear splitting grin; this was her first time on a plane.

"What's on your mind, Cass?" asked her mother. She removed a lip gloss from her purse and rubbed it on her lips.

Cass took the lip gloss after she was through and ran it on her lips. It tasted like Vanilla with a hint of mint. "Nothing," she said, handing the lip gloss back.

"Are you sure?" her mother asked, just as the pre flight announcement started.

"Victor broke up with me," she said and she berated herself for sounding whiny.

Her mother gave a heavy sigh. "I won't say I told you so."

Cass chuckled. "You told me so."

"You remind me very much of my sister, Elisa."

"Really?"

"Yes, you'll get to meet her soon. She does everything with every bit of herself."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not necessarily," she said, as the plane began to speed up on the tarmac.

The take off was smooth, leaving Cass with only a knot in her stomach. She was glad she didn't have breakfast. "He said he had to, that we were different, that he was afraid of what he'd do. What he could do."

"Maybe it was all for the best and you've come out of it wiser."

"I don't know. I don't know what to think."