Rappy's Green Room

Another GG Rewrite: First Chapter Sample

Sorry to the people who have been reading this current draft, but it's still not working for me. Luckily, I've been able to pinpoint what the issue is, and of course its Maggie. So I've decided I'm gonna rewrite GG again, this time with a completely different protagonist. 

Here's a sample of the rewritten first chapter: 

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Jake's Guide to Hardcore Gay

If you like sports, working at a sports bar is pretty dope. Of course I hate working because I'm lazy and don't have any drive to accomplish anything in life, but I had to be working because that's how the story starts. That's also the reason why I was drawing, cuz I don't do that.

"God Jake, do you ever smile? Why do you always look like someone just murdered your gerbil?"

I looked up at Veronica, my irrelevant coworker, with the same expression I had when the Giants traded Odell :(

"My gerbil just died this morning and it makes me big sad."

"Oh sh*t, Jake I'm so sorr-"

The drunk group behind us started calling for a waiter, so I went back to serve them.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, trying not to be socially awkward because I suck at peopling. That's when I noticed Adrian, a kid in my Public Speaking class who looked a lot like me. I had always though he was kind of cute. No homo? "Okay bye." I said, running out the door because I didn't feel like copying the rest of the scene.

I walked into my dorm and waved at my roommate Elle. She's dummy thicc. "Hey Jaks, how was work?" She greeted from her mess of a bed. 

I locked eyes with her and responded with a deep, primal scream. 

"Ah yes, as usual." She responded, nodding her head. She continued talking about random stuff, like krav maga which she had an unusual obsession with. I fell asleep to sound of her still talking. Like seriously, why don't women ever stop yapping?

(Insert time skip symbol thing)

I sat in the back of my public speaking class, trying not to fall asleep. Just then, Adrien (he changes the spelling of his name sometimes, we don't ask why) walked in, and I was immediately interested cuz I'm big gay. "Hey, is this seat taken?" He asked, giving me a smile.

"Um, no, you can sit here." I said, hastily sliding my glasses off my face.

Before he could sit however, he disappeared because he's not important to the story and I need to get this done so I can go to the dining hall before it gets too late. I decided to walk to the art building because I like art? I went down into the basement to smell it because I'm a weirdo. When I got down there I looked around and noticed a random door in the corner, and to further the plot I walked through it. 

Whhhhhhaaaaatttt, the door took me to another dimension. That's crazy dude. I'm gonna go bang a dragon.

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So this obviously isn't serious. My little brother Jake decided to write a self-insert fanficton, and I figured it would be a fun thing to post up for April Fools Day.