stuck in an island with ringo starr

we need to murder john f kennedy?

it had been a week on the raft with ringo, and it started to take a toll on me. i was a lot skinnier, well guess im a skinny legend now huh? some how ringo stayed thick as ever. how is that ass so plump? we haven't eaten for days! at this point i've accepted my feelings for ringo, though, i still had doubts if they were real or not.

ringo said to me for the first time in a while,
"paul, i think we might die, im honestly in fear of my life."
he was right, we actually might. this was entirely bonkers, im paul mccartney! i can't die, i'm basically immortal! yet for some reason, the thought of perishing in the middle of the ocean did frighten me. what if i'm not remembered? will this be how it ends? these thoughts really were bummers and they were taking a toll on my wellbeing, so, i decided to take a nap.

this nap was wack. like, weirder than anything ive had before. even when i took a nap after smoking too much kush. god fucking spoke to me. there i was, naked in a river, when i heard a voice from heaven.
"hi, this is danny devito and this is how you eat an egg."
danny devito? what an odd sounding name. then suddenly a man short in stature materialized in front of me. he was shocked, "you're not the new york times camera man!" he said.
i replied, "no! im paul mccartney! you may have heard of me-"
he cut me off, "you're that beatle guy right?"
the audacity, im paul mccartney! nevertheless, i responded with yes. soon we started to have a lengthy talk whilst taking a jog in the river. i noticed the old man was also naked. this sure was an odd dream.

we spoke of many things but the one that really caught my attention was his theories about who murdered the american president, john f. kennedy. he gets assassinated? wow thats crazy! i thought this must be a sign from god himself! does this mean i'm going to have to kill jfk? its gods will, i suppose i must.
i started to ask the old man, "does this mean i will have to kill ken-" but he spontaneously combusted in front of me before i could get my whole thought out. damn.

i woke up in a sweat. the hot caribbean sun blaring down on me. ringo was in the corner of the raft.
he asked, "paul are you feeling well?"
i respond, "ringo, we need to kill john f. kennedy."