we're not broken just bent (Camila/You)

3

Narrator's POV

It's been three months.

Three months since Y/N found out Camila had been cheating on her with some colleague.

Three months since Camila's been pregnant with the unplanned baby.

And... three months since Y/N moved out of the apartment that she shared with her six-year-long girlfriend.

It felt way longer than just three months, to be honest. For both of them. It would've been a lie to say that Y/N hasn't missed Camila in these past few months, though that doesn't change the fact that she's hurt her. The Y/E/C-eyed girl was so hurt and she just wished that she didn't care about Camila anymore.

That's easier said than being done.

She wanted to forgive the brunette really bad. Hell, the moment she packed her shit and walked out of that door that day, she already wanted to go right back in and pretend that nothing's wrong between them.

Y/N loved the Camila, she really did. She probably still does, but... her mind can't just forget that the brunette had indeed slept with another guy. I mean, that's kinda hard to forget when her girlfriend is actually pregnant with someone else's baby.

Six years. They've been in a relationship for six years. Y/N really thought that Camila would be the person she'll be spending the rest of her life with. It suddenly feels like she's just been a fool all along. How couldn't she sense that her girlfriend wasn't in love with her anymore? How can she only find out about her affair when it's impossible to hide it any longer? The red signs had been flaring in front of her for so long, how could she ignored all of them for the sake of reviving their dying relationship...

She really had it coming at her. Even though Camila's the one at fault here, Y/N can't help but feel like she's just as much to blame as the brunette.

These three months didn't feel any easier than the first week of living alone for Camila. It was weird for the apartment to feel so empty and lifeless. She still couldn't believe how she managed to fuck everything up between her and Y/N. For the majority of the time, she just felt guilty about her infidelity and that there's not much she can do to fix things up between them. Her mood swings that came along with the pregnancy certainly didn't help with that.

They hadn't talked at all in the meantime. Camila's been dying call Y/N up just to hear her voice or hear how it's been with her. It's been so long since she's heard her name rolling off her girlfriend's tongue. She's scared that it won't sound the same anymore, that it'll come out as strange and not give her the familiar feel like it used to have, like everything will be fine again.

Girlfriend... That is starting to sound strange too. Are they even still dating? Probably not. That's another reason why Camila's afraid to contact Y/N because... what if the Y/E/C-eyed girl is gonna say that it's definitively over between them? Camila really doesn't wanna think about that possibility or have that become true.

Y/N had actually come back to their apartment a couple of times. Though every time, she'd just stay in front of the door, stare at it, and then leave again. Usually it's at times where she knows Camila's at work too. She just wasn't ready to face the brunette yet. But the reason why she doesn't have the guts to go into that apartment is that she's scared. She's scared that once she's back home, she won't be able to leave again. There were too many memories made and attached to their apartment. She just wasn't ready.

Honestly, she doesn't think she'll ever be ready.

It's the same thing with forgiveness. She really wants to forgive Camila, but she just wasn't ready to let the girl back in her heart again. Camila has way too much power over her. The Y/E/C-eyed girl knew that once she sees the brunette again, she won't have the heart to stay mad at her anymore. Not that she's mad in the first place. It's always been just hurt and maybe disappointment.