Shards of Sanity (Book 6, Forgotten Series)

Chapter Seventeen

A few days later

Shey and Luka's schedule had faltered slightly after Lace had left. I had a feeling that without the rigid and nearly militaristic female that it had definitely easier to slip out of the it. However we had maintained that schedule as best as we could without Lace there, it was a bit difficult but we had stopped the faltering and that was enough.

There were still times when Shey wouldn't want to get out of bed but Luka was there for her, as was May. It was hard for her, she felt like she was at fault for Amelia's death, that she didn't do enough for her. It was hard for her to get through but she was working on it. I truly understood how she felt, having guilt after your loved one died. I had dealt with that when Catherine and Bethany died and to this day I still felt guilty for their deaths, so I doubted that the feeling would ever truly go away for either of them.

Luka was having just as much difficulty as Shey, even though he showed it less. He would get out of bed, push himself through his schedule but late at night I would find him in the study, doing his best to drink it all away. I didn't blame him for it, for trying to drown it all out, but I also knew that it wasn't healthy. So I tended to slip away from my bedroom when the moon was high in the sky to be there for him. At least if I monitored him I could control how much he drank and make sure he didn't over do it. Once he hit the limit I had set I would take him to his room so he could sleep it off.

I knew that if I kept a close eye on his drinking that I could help him limit it and if it got too out of control then I would get May involved. It was best to keep an eye on him and I knew that if he was pushed to stop right now then it would end in disaster. Luka did not like being pressured into things, especially when it came to his own ability to cope with what he was feeling. Luka could be very stubborn when he wished to be and this was a very delicate situation to be in. It was best to monitor him and make sure he didn't drink himself into a coma rather than try and force him to stop.

"Unca Mikey." At Heidi's call I looked over from my place on the couch. Luka and Shey were down at the dining hall and I had just come up to the office to sort out of the paperwork for when they got done with the pack.

"Yes, Eidi-oh?" I watched as she pushed open the door wider, swiping at her eyes as her bottom lip trembled. My heart twisted in my chest as I watched her come towards me, her little shoulders shuddering.

"I miss Ahmee." She croaked it out and I gave a small sound of comfort low in my throat as I held out my arms for her. She swiped at her glassy eyes as her bottom lip trembled. I grasped her underneath the arms and pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. "She's gone for so long. I want her back." She pressed her face into my chest and I closed my eyes with a pained sigh.

"I'm sorry, Eidi-oh, but Amy died, she can't come back." I wondered when this would end, her continually asking for her sister. I wondered when it would fully sink in that Amelia was gone and would never come home.

"But I miss her." Her little voice trembled and I kissed her temple, stroking her hair gently.

"I know you do." She missed her so much that it made my eyes burn. You could see it in everything that she did. She looked for her constantly, no matter what she did or what happened she always turned to share it with Amelia before confusion would sink in because Amelia wasn't there. I knew she would reach out for her when she was sleeping and wake up terrified because Amelia wasn't there to grasp onto.

"She needs to come back. Mama and daddy are sad. I'm sad." With that she burst into tears. I looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly to try and get the burning in my own eyes to stop. I rubbed her little back and held her close as she sobbed out her confused pain over not understanding why her twin wasn't with her anymore.