Healing

XII - rejection

As work is very slow this week, I managed to write this between dead times. I hope you enjoy it! It was fun to write.

Also, thank you so much for your concern and support. Things seem to be slightly moving forward, hopefully we'll have a whole new constitution soon and we expect a dignified lifestyle for everyone.

Bel, xx

∞

      Maybe Jinyoung should stop taking all the drugs prescribed by his psychiatrist and just drink. Drink and spend time with Im Jaebeom. He feels light and giddy, happier than he's been in years and he likes feeling that way.

They walk together, Jinyoung's arm around Jaebeom's, very close to the point to make their steps a bit difficult, but it's no problem when they have to stop at some red light, because then the younger man leans his head on Jaebeom's shoulder and sighs happily. His companion doesn't say much and seems a bit tense, but he can't bring himself to pull away.

When they are waiting for the street light to change, Jinyoung focuses completely on the man next to him, so incredibly handsome yet somehow so cute. He has this urge in his guts to pinch the other man's cheeks, as if to confirm he is real. He does not realize he actually does that until Jaebeom is staring at him with wide eyes and Jinyoung's fingers still pinching his cheek.

"What... are you doing?" he asks, not moving an inch even if the light has changed.

"You're so cute, and your cheeks are pinch-able. I couldn't help it," Jinyoung shrugs, releasing the other's man attacked cheek and watching how he starts chuckling. "Sometimes you don't seem real," he continues, leaning more onto Jaebeom, so that the older man has to turn his body and receive Jinyoung in his arms. "And with the light shining from behind you look more ethereal."

"You sound very infatuated with me," Jaebeom teases, but Jinyoung doesn't miss the way the older man is running his hands soothingly up and down his back, and that is too distracting.

"Hmmm it seems so," he doesn't deny it, melting in Jaebeom's arms.

"Ah, Jinyoungie, don't be like this," the other man groans ever so softly. "I'll want to kiss you if you keep snuggling to me."

Jinyoung holds his breath, feeling his heart-rate speeding up. "Okay then," he whispers, nervous.

Unsurprisingly, Jaebeom tenses and stops moving, Jinyoung thinks the other man has even stopped breathing before the arms around his body tighten and pull him closer. He looks up, right into Jaebeom's eyes, without being able to read what he's thinking of feeling, there's too much going on in his head in that moment.

"Ah Jinyoungie," Jaebeom breathes out. "You're more drunk than I thought."

"Not enough to not know what I want," Jinyoung refutes, feeling in his body he wants this, like it's been too long even if it's never happened before.

"Enough to not regret it when you're fully sober?" Jaebeom looks in pain, like saying that is hurting him.

Jinyoung can't answer. He's sure the moment he's alone with his thoughts in his own darkness, away from Jaebeom he'll regret how much he's leaning on the older man, how much he's taking just to feel better. How he's using Jaebeom.

Of course he'll regret.

Does that mean he want this any less?

Jaebeom doesn't wait for him to make his mind, and pulls away. "I thought so. Ask me to kiss you when you're sure you want it and won't regret it."