31 Days of December

December 4th

I groaned and buried my face into my pillow once I heard my alarm go off for class. The alarm went off for a few seconds before I got annoyed and grabbed my phone to turn it off. I hated waking up. While on my phone, I sent a morning text to my mother to let her know I was alive for the day. I put my phone back down before burying myself into the pillow, not ready to take on the world.

All night I was in one of those weird states of sleep where I was asleep, but my brain would not turn off. It just kept giving me unrealistic scenarios of the cute guy. It wouldn't stop, and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I was making my way to class with my earbuds in. I avoided crowds when I got to the busy part of campus. As I made my way past people, I swore I caught a glimpse of the cute guy from yesterday. However, when I did a double-take, it wasn't him. It was another guy who didn't even look like the guy. My mind was playing tricks on me. I was in desperate need of caffeine or a nap for my mind to hopefully get back on track.

Sitting in lecture with my least favorite professor, I wished that I skipped or at least got an energy drink or a coffee. I was trying my best to pay attention, but I either kept dozing off, or my mind replayed running into the cute guy repeatedly. It was like in Inside Out when the mind workers kept sending up the gum commercial to annoy the emotions. Except it wasn't an annoyingly catchy song for a commercial, it was just feeling like humiliation over and over again.

This campus has thousands of students on it. Even though he was in the class that was after mine yesterday, it doesn't mean I'll run into him again. My class could end early, or he could be late for his class. Plus, it wouldn't be like he is purposely looking for me. The scenarios of avoiding the cute guy after three more lectures shouldn't be too hard. After all, my focus should be on passing classes, not chasing down cute boys.

After class, I stuck my earbuds in, hoping the Jonas Brothers would calm my brain. However, the thought of seeing the cute guy tomorrow overpowered my love for the Jonas Brothers. This was when I knew I was in deep shit.

Hailey: Help! My brain keeps freaking out that I might see the cute guy again.

Sam: Well, have you?

Hailey: No. I thought I did on my way to class, but it turned out to be someone completely different.

Mom: Do you want to see him again?

Hailey: I don't know. He could be a serial killer for all I know.

Mom: You don't know that. You barely talked to him.

Sam: Because of that, she should think that. Serial killers are always the least suspected. Plus, he could be another Ted Bundy for all we know. Charm, lure, and then kill.

Hailey: I'm not taking any chances. I'm not getting murdered. I either die choking on a gummy bear, or I'm not dying at all.

Mom: Why?

Sam: That's your question?

Hailey: So people can say a bear killed me.

Mom: Why are you like this?

Hailey: I don't know. You're the one that raised me.

Sam: She's got you there.

I smiled before putting my phone into my pocket and continuing my walk to my next lecture. I had a busy day of classes, so I was hoping my brain would shut up for a few of them so I could focus. However, I highly doubt it would happen because my brain doesn't always listen to me.

After being unable to focus on any of my classes, I finally returned to my apartment. I threw my backpack into my room and headed for the shower. I needed to relax, and the best way to do that was to take the hottest shower I could. However, it couldn't be a super long shower since I didn't want to use up all the hot water. Living with other people causes issues when one person uses up all the hot water.

I sat in my shower, absorbing as much hot water as possible while letting my brain run wild. It was pulling me toward being with the cute guy, but that means I'd have to talk to the guy and probably have to face rejection when he realizes he doesn't like me. That was not something I was ready to face.

After roughly half an hour of just being in my thoughts, I finally got out of the shower. I put on a pair of guy's pajama pants and a baggy hoodie because, after my crisis, I needed to be in the comfiest clothes I know. I wrapped my hair into a towel and headed back to my room.

"Hey, I'm making a pizza for dinner if you want to split it with me," Alice said as I walked by the kitchen to get to my bedroom.

"Yeah," I said as I stopped outside of my door. I opened the door and threw my dirty clothes and towel into it. "That sounds good."

When I joined her in the kitchen, Alice asked, "What's bothering you? You look like you are the walking dead."

"I didn't sleep great last night."

"Why?"

I went to the fridge to grab a Mountain Dew to drink and shrugged, "Brain wouldn't shut off. Stress and what not with the end of the semester."

"I don't believe you."

"Don't you have a pizza to get out of the oven?"

"Don't go trying to change the topic on me. I know you are admitting the full truth because I have lived with you for a year and a half. I know when you are hiding something from me, and you will tell me what is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong. My mind keeps bothering me about the cute guy."

"I thought you said that you weren't going to see him again?" She asked as she pulled the pizza from the oven.

"I don't plan on it," I said as I took a drink of my Mountain Dew.

"Then why is it bothering you?"

"I don't know," I admitted before sitting at the island.

Alice sighed, "You've said it yourself. It isn't like you are going to see the guy again. However, if you do, what is your plan? Talk to him? Avoid him?"

"I don't really know. Part of me wants to talk to him because if I keep running into him, it must be fate, right? But I also don't want to be rejected if everything is in my head. I don't know what to do," I stated.

She shrugged as she placed the pizza in front of us. We sat there, munching on the pizza, trying to figure out how to solve my nonexistent problem. So far, my choices seem to be to talk to or avoid him if I ever see him again. Knowing myself all too well, I knew that I would do my best to avoid him.