In my Thoughts

Chapter 6: Unwanted Thoughts

Justina~
When I get to my room I don't feel like doing anything. I put on my shirt and realize it's not even mine. Great, I grabbed Cons.
I walk over to the bed and I decide to fall asleep wearing his shirt.

Conceited~
I turn around and I see Milani kissing Matt by the pool. I walk to the table, grab my shirt, and I leave.
They didn't notice me which is what I wanted.
I'd be wasting my time if I tried talking to her or even getting mad at her. I'm upset because I knew she would do this but I wasted my time on her anyway.
I knew I wanted what I couldn't have, I wanted Justina. And because I knew she wouldn't want me, I got with Milani.
When I get to my room I put on my shirt. Shit, it does not even mine it's Justina's. I grab the shirt and throw it on the dresser. I walk onto the bed and think how upset Justina probably is. I should have at least told her Milani was coming.
I try to go to sleep but I can't, I'm constantly thinking of Justina. I get out of my bed, I decide to apologize to Justina.
I get to her door and I feel terrible. I knocked twice and she did not answer, I decide to call her. She still doesn't answer.

Justina~

I'm laying in my bed staring at the ceiling trying not to picture Milani's are around him.
I hear someone knocking at my door and I assume it's Con. I stay quiet and hope he goes away.
It's silent after ten minutes and I finally fall asleep.

Conceited~

She doesn't answer, great. I walk back to my room and I sit on my bed again. I fucked up. I did the one thing I didn't want to, I lost Justina.
If Milani ever comes back I won't even talk to her because I'd be wasting my time. I can't trust her when she gave me many reasons not to.

~2:00 A.M~
Justina~
My phone rings I see Conceited's name.
"Hello" I say in a tired tone.
"Hey, can we talk?"
"It's two in the morning." He doesn't respond and he hangs up. Without thinking I am out the door walking to his room.
I open his door, he's on the end of his bed with his hands on his face. I walk to the side of him wrapping my arms around him. He does say anything but puts his head on my shoulder. He lifts his head looks me straight in the eye and says, "I'm sorry."
This shows me how much he really cares, him expressing his feelings, something he has been hiding for an unknown reason.
I respond by saying, "For what?"
"For treating you like shit. I hid secrets from you and I've been distant. Just like I did in the past."
"For you to do that there has to be something wrong and I'd wish you'd tell me." He doesn't answer and I notice Milani's bags on the floor.
"Where's Milani?" I ask.
He looks at me and says, "With Matt."
"Oh" She did it again, which does not surprise me.
"Can you grab her shit and put it outside?"
Without saying anything I grab her bags and I toss them outside. I walk over to the bed and I see him blocking her number. I whisper in his ear, "Fuck that bitch."
I ask him, "Why did you get with her?"
He responds quickly by saying, "Because I want something I can't have."
"What can't you have?"
"Nothing," He says getting off the bed.
"I want you too." I say quietly, with the words slipping off my tongue.
He stops walking and looks at me. I get off the bed and I walk towards him.
"Really?" He asks.
"Yes." I say looking into his eyes.
I've been waiting for this moment for a long time now. I wrap my arms around him and he pulls into a hug. He kisses me softly and everything feels right. If this isn't the best feeling ever I don't know what is.

Conceited~

After all the shit I put Justina through shes here with me. Worried about me, when she should be mad at me. When she walked through the door I could tell that she was mad, I know she tried not to show it. And when she put her arms around me everything felt fine.
When she asked me what I couldn't have the happiness I had, slipped away. But when she said she wanted me too, it came back. But when I was kissing her, my mind froze. The thoughts of the past crept in.
I have hurtled her so much I don't want to do it again.