Being thrown away in the garbage in a dark alleyway in London when she was only a baby, she should have died that day... But she didn't.. instead, a man saved her. He brought her in and saved her, fed her, bathed her, raised her and more importantly...
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I stared at them all with judgmental stares. Why does it matter if I talk to a guy? That should be the least of their worries about what I will do. "he is my um friend". I said in a confused tone giving dad a 'what the hell' look. He sighed heavily running his hand through his thick raven hair. "fine I will approve of this friendship but only if it stays as friends. understood"? my lips turned into a frown real quick. Why the hell should I need his approval of my friends? "whatever makes you happy". sarcasm dripping in every word as I batted my eyelashes sweetly at him.
Bloody mindless boneless scumbags.
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"so, I have news". We all turned our attention to dads hard stern voice all with confused faces. "Breanna will be starting school next week". Hmmm, that is a good joke, old man. Buttttt.... SIKE! Imma cartwheel out of here before you could even think of taking me to school. The boys all looked unfazed by the news while I was internally screaming. "Can I not"? I asked cringing at my own pathetic question. Some of the boys snickered at me while shaking their heads. Alex gave me a sympathetic sad smile while Alex and Bruno just smirked at me. "Unfortunately, you do". Dad stated while taking a big gulp of his strong steaming hot black poison. "I would rather not". I cringed to myself shuddering just at the thought of going to school.
I hate school. I don't just dislike school because I don't want to do the work. The work is fine but the people... I. hate. People.
Reasons I hate school.
1. I hate talking
2. I hate fake smiles.
3. I hate gossip.
4. I hate plastic 'girl dogs'.
5. I hate attention
6. I absolutely despise teachers.
7. The work is boring and too easy.
I could go on and on and on but I don't want to bore people with my millions of reasons why I fucking hate school. The only good thing about school was the pranks I did and pissing of people. The younger boys all snickered at me giving me wide smirks. While the older ones gave me blank cold stares studying me. Dad sighed loudly closing his newspaper and now looking at me softened eyes and a tight small smile. "Look Bambina it is ok to be nervous, but you will be fine. Bruno along with Luke and Louis will be there with you to help". I raised my eyebrows at him narrowing my eyes at him. "Is that supposed to make me feel better"? i said mocking him. "and I am not nervous". I gritted my teeth together giving him my classic bitchy cold stare. Milos smirk grew wider and he walked over to me giving me a tight hug and ruffling my hair. "aww it's ok". He cooed hugging me more tightly. "big brother is here". he teased. I then tried my best to push him away but of course, my scrawny arms were betraying me.
"get off me". I gritted giving him my hardest deathly stare. I was not in the mood to deal with anything. Milo snickered then let me go then gave me a small kiss on my cheek. Dad then went over and hugged me. at first, I wanted to shrug him off and push him away. But the way his large arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and secure made me melt. What are these idiots doing to me? "Are you an ok princess? You have to be a bit fine lately". He pulled away holding my shoulders securely while bending down all the way down to my height so we are height level. "I'm fine".
He narrowed his dark chocolates at me giving me a stern 'I don't believe you' look. "what"? I snapped feeling uncomfortable under his intimidating gaze. "lose the tone". He growled making me jump. He has never snapped at me like that before I felt myself sink into my shoes. but no! I will not show my fear. I will not show weakness.
"lose the act". Was all I said before racing upstairs dodging all my brothers and dad. I guess track and running away from mike and Margaret helped. I stormed into the library locking the door behind me the anxiety in my chest kept on building, minute by minute. I paced the room back and forth angrily and in panic. My breathing quickened as I paced the room quickly and my chest tightened in a tight excruciating knot.
You're a burden and your father doesn't really care about you! He, in fact, wishes deep down that he never adopted you. He only pretends to be nice and good to you because of publicity.
"stop".
He is a successful famous businessman CEO, he only adopted cause he knows it would look bad on his behalf.
Any day now he will send you back.
"Stop"!
Your dad thinks your dirty, he thinks you are broken. He hates you. In fact, everyone hates you. Your brothers think you are dirty trash and only a burden to the family. You will only ever be a burden. You will only ever be trouble. You will only ever be the cause of destruction.
"Please Stop".
Your mother took one look at you and knew you were just dirt trash, so she threw you out.... Literally. You were the reason that John died... deep down you know that is the truth. You were the reason Margaret became who she did.
It is all your fault! Everything is your fault!
You let him touch you!
You let him take your innocence.
You are the reason John died!
YOU ARE A MURDERER!
If you weren't alive ...he would still be alive.
Kill yourself
"STOP"! I screamed clawing my head with my fingernails drawing blood. I scratched my head repeatedly not caring about the burning pain. my chest felt like it was irrupting and I felt like I was having a heart attack. "STOP"! I screamed again.
More tears fell.
I rocked back on the forth with my knees drawn up to my chest still digging my fingernails in my head. I then heard a loud bang and loud footsteps coming towards me. "STOP"! I screamed again trying to get the voice out of my head pulling my hair.
Kill yourself!
Large hands caught my hands holding them away from me securely. I then felt someone shaking me and voices around me some yelling and some were whispering.
Maybe mike is here to kill you..
It might save you the effort.
I screamed loudly curling myself in a ball. My whole body shook vigorously while my tears and screams never stopped. Maybe mike is here to kill me, maybe this is the end. Maybe everything now will just go away. Maybe if I die my problems will fade away and I will disappear. Maybe if I die... everyone can finally live in peace and be happy. but then again if I left I will never see dad again. It's crazy to think of the short time I have known him to now how much I love him. I love him and all my brothers like crazy, I would do anything for them. If I left, I would never see them again. I would miss them... I would be alone again.
Stop being selfish.
The ball in my chest formed more tightly and the air in my lungs left me thinking all the oxygen has been taken away from me. I managed to retrieve my hands and grasp my throat trying my best to get air. I gasped for air repeatedly making my grip around my throat grow tighter. The person kept trying to shake me and the hands around my throat were roughly pulled away.
The last thing I remember is feeling a sharp prick in my neck and the next is darkness.
