Chapter 18: Everyone Leaves

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"He's gone?"  I asked, my voice cracking.

"I came in to see the letters. His stuff packed. I dont get it," he said, his eyes red.

I grabbed letter and slowly tore it open.

Dear Pheonix,

I'm sorry to do this to you, after everything I did to you. Especially since you became like my child. This isnt your fault. Make sure Spencer and darnell dont do anything stupid. I love you Pheonix, like my own.

From, Corey

"Damn it," I whispered as I started to sob harder.

"Pheonix," Darnell said grabbing my arm

"This is my fault I'm sorry," I whispered.

"What?"

"Everyone I get close to dies or leaves. I'm sorry," I sobbed.

"It isn't your fault. He loved you. Why would he leave?" He said starting to cry again.

"I dont know Darnell. He really loved you, Spencer, and Dillion. Dont blame yourself and dont blame spencer," I said gripping his hand.

"As long as you quit blaming yourself."

"I have to get back to Beverly. I have class tomorrow, " I said while wiping my eyes.

"Please dont leave me in this house alone," he asked where I could barely hear him.

I nodded my head and we walked to his room. He gave me some clothes to change into and I did so in the bathroom. While I was in there I cut my wrist.

This is for taking away Spencer dad.

This is for breaking darnell.

This is for crushing dillion.

This is for having hope.

"Pheonix are you okay?" I heard him yell from his room.

"Yeah, I'll be a minute." Silence.

"Open the door," I reluctantly did.

"This isnt your fault. Dont punish yourself for it," he said grabbing my wrist.

He turned on the faucet and put my arm under the water.

"I got it," I whispered.

"I told you I'd be here for you," he said cleaning my wrist.

He went into the kitchen and came back with bandages and ice cream. He bandaged my arm and we ate icecream in silence. Then I felt my phone buzz.

Jordan
Dad told us. Do I need to pick you up?

Pheonix
I'm with a friend. Thank you.

Jordan
Call me if you need to.

"When did you first cut?" Darnell asked me.

"The night my brother died. I still cant get the sounds our of my head. The gunshot. His last words. Any of it," I whispered.

"Have you even talked about it. I mean everyone knows you were there, but no one knows what happened," he asked.

"I was coming to hang out with him before my comp he was supposed to come to. I saw a crip there, but I didnt see who. He said it was for bonez and I heard three gunshots. I waited for him to leave before I ran to my brother," I chocked up again.

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