Sweetest Amore

V E N T I T R É

— ᴀ.s.

I can't explain how fast time flew. It's been a month since we arrived at Xavier's house. The first couple of days were stressful and anxious for me. Not only because of a dramatic change of place in that short time but also because I couldn't shake the feeling of deja vu.

This whole house is.. it's like I have already been here but couldn't remember it. I know that I worked here for Xavier and that we got close here but then again why I can't remember any of those events.

It's hard to explain, you know when there is something on tip of your tongue but you can't say it. Yeah, that exactly is with my memory, I know that I saw it somewhere but couldn't get it when or remember what the event was in general.

On top of that first two weeks, I spent mostly with Daniel. I don't know why.. actually, I know. I was scared that he will leave me, everyone always does.

However, when those two weeks were up and he needed to go with Maya I said my last goodbye with the biggest smile I could muster.

Just to show him that I will be alright because in the last couple of days he became quite restless about leaving me here alone. He wanted to quit the interview and job offer because of me and I couldn't let him do that. I couldn't be that selfish.

I want him to be happy and have the life he always dreamed of and that was the main reason for me to throw the biggest smile on my face and wish him good luck while he boarded a plane.

The smile lasted until the plane didn't take off and we didn't get back home. The moment we returned from the airport I closed myself in Xavier's and mine room and let my tears out. I cried for a whole day which got everyone worried, but I couldn't stop myself, blame it on pregnancy hormones.

And yes I said Xavier's and mine room. I still didn't move out of it even though my old room is free from anyone's presence. I just couldn't find it in myself to get out of that room, I grew to like the feeling of Xavier's heated body laying next to me at night while he's telling me stories about us.

And the best thing with those stories is that I would later that night dream about them. My imagination is running wild with them. I mean I had dreams of me and Xavier before but this dreams would be longer and the same like in Xavier's stories. Sometimes they look so realistic that I would think they actually happened.

Shaking my head from my sudden thoughts and bringing my attention back to Xavier who was telling me another one of his stories.

We were together in the living room while Emiliano is taking his nap back up in the bedroom

"..and then he said 'dada'. That was the first time that he said that and that was his first word." Xavier explained smiling dreamily with his eyes holding happiness. I smiled at that. He looks so handsome while smiling.