Snow It Up [Shake It Up]

chapter twenty one

CeCe couldn't sleep. The apartment was too quiet and things were too out of control for her to fully enjoy her days off. She couldn't believe that Rocky hasn't talked to her since she found out that CeCe didn't work at SIU. She knew that Rocky wouldn't be happy with her, but she didn't even let CeCe explain herself. 

Pulling the blanket closer to her body, CeCe let out a sigh. She shouldn't have kept that secret for that long. CeCe knew what she was doing when she lied to Rocky, but she didn't think it would snowball into this. It was all her fault, and now Rocky didn't want anything to do with her because of it. How could she have messed up this bad?

Squeezing her eyes shut, she bit back a sob. Rocky was her best friend. She was a nobody without her, and now Rocky hated her. CeCe knew that someday, Rocky would end up hating her, but why did it have to be now? Why couldn't it have been when they were old and couldn't really remember who each other was? She wished she could go back in time and take away the lie, but life didn't work like that. It never worked that way, no matter how much CeCe begged and cried for it to be changed. It was always her fault, so she was getting punished for it. 

It always seemed like CeCe was the reason why bad things happened to her friends. She was the one who forced them to go to Japan, she was the one who dared Rocky to jump into the lake, resulting in hurting her foot, she was the one who sent them to Major Dance's Boot Camp. The list went on and on, which showed CeCe that she was the reason why bad things happened to them. Why hasn't she learned her lesson by now?

A knock on CeCe's door made her jump, nearly falling onto the floor. She furiously wiped away the tears that leaked out before turning over. Gunther was leaning against the doorframe, a frown on his face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," CeCe said, forcing a smile onto her face. Gunther still stared at her, the concerned look on his face. The way he was staring at her made her feel as if he understood her, so she sighed, dropping her head. "I'm not okay, Gunther. My best friend hates me and it's all because I couldn't tell her that I got fired from SIU."

"It was not your fault, CeCe." Gunther took a step into her room, almost hesitantly. He glanced over his shoulder before crossing the room, sitting down next to her. "Your mother is up and I really do not want an awkward situation."

"She makes everything awkward," CeCe said, giggling. She let out another sigh, moving closer to Gunther. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she gladly snuggled close to him. "Why did I lie to Rocky?"

"I have no idea, but you cannot dwell on that," Gunther said, his voice echoing in his chest. CeCe glanced up at him to see him staring at the far wall across the room, his face tight. "And Rocky should have known that you were too insecure to tell her about it."

"You think I'm insecure?"

"You do not?" Gunther shifted his gaze so that he was looking down at CeCe, his eyes wide. "CeCe, you have never been confident in who you are. Sure, you have a facade that you put up that radiates confidence, but it is not real. You were surprised that I thought you were one of the best dancers, which shows how insecure you are." Gunther squeezed her shoulders, easing the tightness in her chest at his words. She could hear the truth in his words, and it scared her. "I know you compare yourself to Rocky, CeCe. I know how hard it is being in her shadow. Trust me on this."

"Do you feel like your in Tinka's shadow?"

"Yes," he said slowly. "I do."

"Then we have something in common." CeCe smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She pushed her bad feelings aside, burying them deep inside her heart. She didn't want to talk about her insecurities anymore. "Hey, what is today?"