Ellipsis || Poetry ✓

30 Dec : "love" and other jargons

//this one's for us a-spec folks//

I'm tired of diagnosing my feelings for you.
A crush, a squish, a mesh
Sexual, romantic, alterous, platonic
Hugs, kisses, touches, conversations -
I'm tired of ticking boxes,
Answering the follow-up questions, and
Making Venn diagrams
To figure out what I feel for you.

I wonder why others have it so easy.
Their "I like you"s answer a gazillion questions
While mine only create questions, expectations, confusion, gigantic miscommunications.

I love you, is that not enough?
It doesn't have a name,
I don't want to look for a name.

I love you, it's never enough.
I want to shout out my affections like the rest of the world does,
But I don't know what to call you, my love -
We have long transcended nouns and adjectives,

I think the problem is, love,
We need a new language.

I will call you by your name, then.
And you will know exactly what I feel.
Just your name - and no questions, expectations, confusion and miscommunications,
Just your name - you're not my crush, my squish, my mesh,
You're you, and I love you...
Your being, your existence, your mind, your smiles, your words, your warmth,
You, your name...

Let's do this one day, shall we?
How long does it take to create a language anyway?
I'll wait - I'm willing; because
Just once,

I want to love,
Without having to "diagnose" these damned feelings.