Ellipsis || Poetry ✓

16 July : "future plans" and other ominous stuff

Even before the world – this world, your world – was explicitly in ruins,
I did not have a "future plan".
I just assumed time would freeze on my 18th birthday,
And Murtagh, my childhood sweetheart from a different universe, will come flying in on his dragon
And take me away from this world.
It did not happen.
Every day after my 18th birthday, the world – this world, your world –
Began to lose the colour green
One shade at a time, bit by bit, only miniscule figments each day;
You barely noticed it,
They barely noticed it,
Everyone barely noticed it.
On my 19th birthday, the world was a bleak place,
With 365 lesser shades of green
But gold confetti and neon lights made up for it
Almost effortlessly.
My small potted-plant died that year.
You didn't let me shed tears for it
Because it was already invisible by then and was thus non-existent according to your definition.

I'm twenty years old now.
The world – this world, your world – is explicitly in ruins now
And the greens are completely gone.
On some mornings, I can recall what a green looked like -
I try to share it with you
But you only remember the golden confetti and neon lights
Which are still in existence,
Ruling over the vast grey plains (...of your minds?)
And I still do not have a future plan!
I barely remember what Murtagh looked like now,
But I still wait for him
To fly in on his dragon and take me away from this world,
This world of yours isn't too great to live in –
After my 19th birthday, I began killing off little bits of myself each morning before leaving the house
Because that's the only way to go uneaten by the zombies -
Yes, the zombies!
(Quick, check your pulse!)
The world – this world, your world – have already been in ruins for a long time now,
Most of you have been dead for a long time now,
So when you ask me what my future plans are,
I want to say "I want to live"
But I don't want to jinx it, see
Neither do I want to hurt your sentiments!