Oh Hell No

Chapter 12

"My eyes! My poor, virgin eyes!" Sadie screamed, choosing for some ungodly reason to cling to Jamie in her trauma. The three had gone looking for Chelsie and Devin so they could go, but ended up finding the happy couple making out against their car, "My innocence is ruined, ruined I say!"

Devin growled at the interruption while Chelsie laughed it off, her face tinged pink. A normal person might have shot themselves in the foot if it meant they could keep from being embarrassed in such a way, but she didn't seem to mind. It probably had something to do with true love, but that idea was almost stupid enough to make Jamie laugh. Sappy shit like that typically didn't survive very long in her mind.

"Oh would you quit your whining? We were having a moment!" Devin shouts. Neither him nor Chelsie had moved from their compromising position, and apparently Jamie was the only one that had the slightest problem with it.

"You guys share plenty of those 'moments,'" Astral teases to no avail. It might not be physically impossible to embarrass them, that was certainly the case with a lot of mated couples Jamie had the misfortune of walking in on. There are so many things she wished she could unsee, so many, "So are we gonna go shopping or not?"

"Are we gonna go shopping or not?" Devin muttered mockingly, his voice an irritating but not entirely inaccurate impression of her. Of course you'd have to imagine everyone having the pitchiness of a recorder, but still far from the worst impression ever.

Chelsie slapped his shoulder playfully, "Don't make fun of my friends. Only I'm allowed to do that," Jamie wouldn't consider herself a friend of Chelsie's, but she wouldn't be the one to burst her bubble, "Now c'mon,the mall won't be open forever and I want to bleed the food court dry!" She hops into the driver's seat, and judging by Devin's confused expression it's clear she stole the keys from him.

Astral and Sadie cheer, teaming up to drag Jamie into the backseat with them while Devin took the passenger's side. To say it was cramped would be an understatement, and to say that Jamie was uncomfortable would be an even bigger one. For the entire ride, Sadie and Astral sang along very obnoxiously to whatever song came on the radio. Apparently Chelsie was the most sane of the three, which is a bit of surprise to her. By the time they parked Jamie realized she was smiling, presumably at their antics. She should be annoyed, pissed even, but their tone deaf hollers did have a certain charm to them. Besides, she could only be angry at so many people at once. Her parents? Yep. That dead bitch? Definite yes. The rest of her pack that didn't defend her in the slightest? Already plotting their funerals. These idiots? When compared to the rest of the list, they don't even make it in the top fifty.

They were all insistent on sticking together, but Jamie couldn't be sure whether it was for bonding purposes or to make sure she didn't run off. Astral and Sadie might be motivated by the first option, but Chelsie and Devin were clearly smarter than that. She had quite the love-hate relationship with smart people, hopefully they wouldn't land on the hate side of the spectrum.

"Since you're the one that actually needs to get stuff, why don't you lead the way?" Chelsie suggests, sending a brief glare towards the other two girls that were steadily inching towards the nearest store.

"Sorry Jamie, but practically the whole store's on sale!" Astral apologized, folding her hands in front of her pleadingly.

Jamie rolled her eyes and walked into the store they were interested in, smirking at the cheers that erupted behind her. The place was pretty basic, and thankfully didn't seem to specialize in prom dresses. There had been too many of those places in her hometown. Sadie all but abandoned them after entering, while Astral was a bit more polite, constantly passing Jamie clothes that would "look perfect" on her. Chelsie and Devin stayed back for most of the time, staying focused on their task of babysitting them, until Astral pointed out a men's wolf onesie and they forced him to try it on. While he was changing Jamie tried on some jeans, coming out at the sound of the girls' laughter to see Devin with the biggest frown on his face. He had the incredibly embarrassing onesie on, while Chelsie and Astral teased him.

"Don't be mad, you make such an adorable pup!" Chels told him in a baby voice. It did nothing to placate him.

"I'm taking this stupid thing off," He declares monotonously.

Jamie smiled, "Pretty sure they have matching ones in women's, you both should get one so you match," She suggests, and he somehow manages to look even more frustrated.

"What a great idea," Chelsie responds, staring expectantly at her mate. His sigh of defeat speaks for itself as he goes back into the changing room.

"I think we've teased him enough, guys," Astral cuts in.

The blonde shrugs, "Maybe, but I was serious about the matching onesies. I am not passing this opportunity up."

"Then I guess I have no choice but to be your camera woman," There really is no way to put this girl down, is there? Just the other day she learned that Jamie is a murderer and now she's been nothing but friendly and delightful.

Jamie decided to leave them to their plotting while she tried on the remaining mountain of clothes that awaited her. Plus, the nearby employee started looking at her weird after noticing that she was wearing clothes with the tags still on them. Getting thrown in mall jail had a habit of ruining your day, unless you start a riot, those are fun.

Everyone ended up with at least two bags in their arms, Devin being practically forced into carrying most of Chelsie and Sadie's bags, despite buying nothing other than the onesie himself. Jamie, admittedly, had a lot of fun with these weirdos throughout the day, and a small part of her wondered if it would be so bad to stick around with people like them to keep her company. But that was ridiculous, she couldn't possibly do that... Could she?

A/N: Who feels bad for Devin, or do y'all think it's cute that he's willing to buy matching onesies with Chelsie?