shades of yellow » han seojun ff

25. golden

THE REST OF gardening slipped by in sheer joy. Yeonwoo taught Seojun how to plant seeds, properly pick tomatoes and basil plants, and measure their growth. She had spent countless summers in the mountains, and was able to smoothly transition between city to country kid.

Seojun was having fun. He had never expected to have such excitement rooting knee-deep in dirt and worse, picking through rotten vegetables. But whenever Yeonwoo laughed and told him well done, he felt his heart would burst into confetti.

They decided to take a break when the sky was at its highest in the sky, beating upon their backs mercilessly. Her grandmother found them lying on the ground, sweat pouring down their faces.

"You two look thirsty." She held a tray carrying two cold glasses of iced green tea. "This tea is fresh. The leaves come from the fields over there."

As they drank down the cool beverage in huge, thirsty gulps, Yeonwoo suggested that they go exploring over the hills.

"If you don't mind." 

Seojun was already looking forward to exploring the place his best friend and Yeonwoo adored more than ever. When Seyeon was alive, he had made countless promises to bring his friends to see his grandmother in the mountains.

"You'll love it, I love it, Yeonwoo loves it." Seyeon had exclaimed. "We can go as a trip after I debut. It'll be great!"

Rather than feeling melancholy at this memory, Seojun felt fond and glad that in a way, they were fulfilling his wishes—he was here with Yeonwoo, after all.

—

After an afternoon of cutting through fields and walking across tiny hills, they went to visit Seyeon's grave. It was located on one of the smaller hills, and the graves ascended up the hill in rows. His was located at the highest level. At that height, the mountain air was the sweetest and the sun brightest—there was no resting place better for him.

The plant Yeonwoo had planted at his grave had grown well. Its leaves were healthy, stem strong and supple. Her heart burst with joy at the sight of it, as she took it as a sign Seyeon was doing well, wherever he was.

"Would you like a moment alone?" Seojun asked.

"No, stay." Yeonwoo pulled at his arm so he could stand closer to her. She said brightly, arm still latched onto his, "Seojun is with me, Seyeon. He's been a really good friend to me since I've returned, so please don't be mad that I'm stealing him from you."

Seojun snorted. She looked at him expectantly and queried, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Y-You would want me to?"

"Of course I do. I'm sure Seyeon would want to listen to whatever you have to say."

He took a deep breath and began tentatively, "I guess I want to say that ... I'm sorry for everything. For quitting the company even though I know you wouldn't have wanted me to. For abandoning my dreams to leave the corrupt world that had taken you away from me. But am I cruel for still wanting to be an idol, despite what you went through? And I'm sorry for—"

His voice broke and before he knew it, he was crying. Tears poured down his face, grief filled him up, as he lamented the loss of two of his best friends. Yeonwoo wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close to her.

"I—" His sobs were muffled by her shirt, but she could feel every vibration of his cries racking through her body.

It turned out she wasn't the only one left hurting after Seyeon's death.

He held onto her tighter and rested his chin in the crook of her neck. Although her shoulder became damp with his tears, all Yeonwoo was focusing on was comforting him.

When he finally pulled away from her, his eyes were teary but he was no longer crying. "I'm sorry for blaming Suho for your death," he said softly, looking at Yeonwoo but speaking to her twin.

"You can apologise, you know? To Suho. It's not too late."

He shook his head. "I don't know how to."

"You can always try."

"And I'm sorry to you. For saying such things during his funeral." There. He had finally said it. His most regretted moment, the first time he had disappointed her, had taken place during Seyeon's funeral—an irreversible, irrevocable moment.

"I had forgiven you long ago. You didn't mean it. You were just angry at Suho's father."

"But I shouldn't have said it. It was cruel."

"We're still teenagers. It's all apart of the growing process. If you let it fester, you'll never grow. But if you face it—" she smiled softly at him. "—you'll become the best version of yourself."

Yeonwoo's words permeated the sweet mountain air and washed over the two eighteen year olds. And as the breeze blew and sunshine washed over the valley, a tiny hope in them sparked.

—

a/n: it's been such a long time since I've updated HAHHAHA but I kinda lost interest. but I am hoping to complete it this summer, so don't lose hope, I want to see Seojun & Yeonwoo's happy ending as much as y'all xx